FAQs

Q: Why did you create a post related to this topic?
A: To answer the Frequently Asked Questions of my adoring public.

Q: Why are you 2'2"?
A: Have you ever seen me without stilts?

Q: Why do you waste your time blogging?
A: It's for the entertainment of my fans.

Q: Who ARE your fans?
A: www.2footfans.com And no, it's not a furniture shop.

Q: Can I have an autograph?
A: Yeah, but you'll need to get in line.

Q: What do you think about the political development of Singapore which will directly or indirectly affect your life in one way or another?
A: Uhh... World Peace?

Q: If you could choose between a million bucks and relatives, which would you choose?
A: The million bucks. The more money you have the more relatives you have.

Q: You're a weird person. Do you not realise that?
A: I do, and I enjoy it.

Q: Why are you so corny?
A: The price of eggs has risen lately.

Q: Why do you not like SJAB?
A: It's a UYO. Anyone who likes UYO should be recommended to me, so that I could recommend him for psychiatric help...

Q: What's the capital of Indonesia?
A: Penang. Duh.

Q: What's wrong with my TV?? It has been taken over by SPORTS!!!
A: No. That's just the Olympics.

Q: What do you do in your free time?
A: Nothing much. Otherwise it wouldn't be free time any more would it.

Q: What is your biggest fear in life?
A: Not growing any taller.

Q: Why do you not like Maths?
A: It's a love-hate relationship. I hate loving it.

Q: Does that apply for Chinese too?
A: It would, but we got Ng Teck Seng... Woot.

Q: This is wasting my time
A: That's not really a question...

Q: Are you trying to keep us stuck here by speaking absolute rubbish?
A: Well, techniacally, if you consider it from all angles, all points of views and using good thinking skills.... Yes?

Q: Will you have more of these uhh.. FAQs?
A: If I get any Questions which are Frequently Asked, I don't see why not.

Q: What closing statement will you have today?
A: Goodbye Mr Anderson.

Not-so-Flagular Day

I bet at some point of your life you would have thought - Why the hell is it called Flag Day?

1) We collcet money for the whole day, so technically it should be called Flag Morning, Flag Afternoon and Flag Night, or Flag MAN.

2) The stickers are ROUND. Since when were flags ROUND. Maybe those not-so-flagular types.. but otherwise...

3) You do realise we dont give you flags, we give you stickers. So it could also be called Sticker Day.

And then again, its still called Flag Day, and it forever shall be. Or at least until someone explains this to them. Not that HQ listens anyway, or else SJAB would actually be a good UYO by now.

Well. Guess what. We went to Clementi today. Normally a peaceful place, with peaceful people, with peaceful blue-green-yellow fountain, with peaceful SJABers. But today - Chaotic and crowded place, harassed people, a blue-green-yellow fountain with more yellow water than blue, and bloodthirsty SJABers. So we had laksa. And a nice walk around Clementi to look at scenery. Or for potential targets at least. We left Clementi after around 1 hour, with me being a happy man. I had 50 Cents.
We then proceeded to more interesting places. Like. City hall. Not that many SJABbers there today, so we DID have some business, and much business with the security guards. We used my stealthly skills to get in the underpass between citylink mall and the mrt thing, so TECHNICALLY, TECHNICALLY, we were'nt in a shopping center. Pure Genius by who else but me of course. We made like, at least 25 bucks each. By then I couldnt feel my legs and my tin felt more like a brick. A very clinky brick. Henyway, well, these two photographer people things wanted a photo. So its like, I got made into their specimen. The picture turned out sorta good. Sorta. Kind of like. A blurred picture, with some small figure sitting on empty steps. They donated around 4 bucks to us, thanks to my prefessionalism. XD
Well. Lunch was due, and we headed off to the exhibition with XBoxing and gaming. Too crowded to see anything, and my height didn't help. So in other words, we went back down. We got treated to Pink Donuts (Shit, these are the best things invented since toilet paper) by some uhh... how should I put it... kind soul? We then tried to squeeze 5 people into a taxi to go Lan, but the taxi people didn't have their coffee this morning, and were all crazy like. We ended up with SubWay - Eat Fresh. So fresh that my chicken still tasted cold. Damn good microwave they have. Foot-longers are too short. They need meter-longers.
We ended up going back to school to return our tins. Well, SOMEBODY wasn't there, so being my boliao self, I crafted a "hammock" out of two ropes. Well, if you consider a hammock something which makes your ass and your arms hurt, yeah, it's a hammock. Returned the cash, and found out that some guy gave Joash 50 bucks. Wdf. So. Moral of Story. Make it Flag Afternoon and go to town for 2 hours, collect 3 times the amount it takes 5 people to get in 6 hours. Yup, simple logic. In the words of some other famous guy, "Damn."

Oral B

That's probably the grade I got for my chinese oral. It's hard to get nervous outside the exam hall. Only happens when it's your turn next. But I think I was doing pretty well, her vein in her forehead only throbbed about twenty times... Not that bad.
Art was messed. Uhm... let's just say that 75% of those who got real high marks (aka 80 - 90) were uhh 10 min work. No offence though. Just come teach me the ways of artisism and enlighten me. I sure would like to know. Considering that I spend uh.. a few hours doing something which turns out to give me as many marks as a guy who has a 2d drawing of a room inside a rom and uhh... brick, paper scissor. uhh... good job.. *cough* *ja-* *cough* *ames* *cough* sigh.. Maybe I should get more uhh.. risk-taking and splash my plate of mee siam on the paper.. I wonder if i get marks for fragrence of piece...
Henyways, mugging is hardly my thing. Staring at the universally loved-hated shou che causes involunteery eye twitches and spasms in your kidney. Oh well. Better get down to studying before I get an Exam F tomorrow. In the words of some famous guy, "E = mc2". No relation, yes, but the guy WAS famous...

Judging Dread

Corny, yes, but so is chinese oral 1 day before our chinese test. But i mean it's ONLY 6 ke and ONLY 50 cheng yus. Seriously no mood to study, no mood to game either. I think stoning would be a good idea. Only that when you stone you look down at the ke ben in your hands and go "eh shit" and start studying again. Looking at the current state of affairs, I would judge dread as bad.
Before I get all corny and lose all my fans, I had better run. Or log off. Or shut down. Or. Something.
Hand me teh Spam.

Of bath towels and the smell of victory - or colgate at least.

Towels are as integral to our lives as toilet paper. It just so happened that I got unlucky. Towels were disigned for a purpose - to dry things. Well, not unless you get a towel which spreads water and magically adds to the amount of water there is. I shall call these towels "Made in China". Eheh.... no really. The worst part is that the towel's more expensive than toilet paper. What a rip-off.
And then you have bath soap. First of all, you get a nice green looking bath soap which says "Refreshing Mint scented" on the label. You tend to believe them. Until you use it at least. You go in smelling like sweat and bad potatoes, and you come out smelling like you had a bad bout with a tube of colgate. Might not be a bad thing though, considering that you could use that to cure yourself of mosquito bites. On the other hand, people start looking at you funny and asking if you have any toothbrushes to sell as well.

Regarding all things veggie-like

Well. Was discussing about veg with twisted boi, and i have com to a few conclusions. Basically, these are the steadfast rules for all veggie-kind:

1) Veggies taste bad. Anything which tastes good can't be veggies.
2) Veggies are green
3) Beans are veggies
4) Potatoes are the only veg which doesnt taste bad basically cos they are potatoes.
5) Things which are processed can't be veggies. Thats why mashed potatoes aren't veggies.
6) Soya beans aren't veggies tho. They are crystallised sauce. Soya bean milk is crystallised sauce curdled. Tofu is soya sauce curdled twice over.
7) Hydroponics is vegetables which can breathe underwater
8) Aeroponics is vegetables which can breathe air
9) Soiloponics is vegetables which can breathe - no wait, you cant breathe soil.
10) Chinese cabbage is only called Chinese cabbage because the cabbage fell through the earth.
11) The story of the giant turnip is total bull. Turnips are never good. All things good are potatoes.
12) Tomatoes and potatoes are pronounced (toe - mae - toes) and (poe - tae - toes). Everything else you heard was just political propaganda. Obviously they failed their speak good english movement.
13) Bean sprouts, or affectionately known as Tau Gay, (pun intended) are totally non-veg. Considering that they taste good, they overpower all other laws.

First-Aid Duty? More like waterboy.

Well basically, today was rather messed up. The first part of the day was good. Charity cafe sure did well with my great marketing skills XD. Anyway, popcorn sold well. So did the brownies (7 of which went to Joash -.-) and muffins. And even beehoon. P science teacehr din come today tho, so we practically wasted a chance of wasting lesson.
And then! I had Sjab. It was all good. Until about 15+ of us boarded the same gay 74. The 74 had air con which was more of a heater than anything else. The crowd of people din help to remedy that.
Well. What else to do, sleep. Sleep. Sleep until reach Mac Ritchie. Mac Ritchie that time still must fall in.. tuck in shirt... -.- Only first aid duty ma. Think the runners want to see whether your shirt neat neat not -.-
Well, we walked half the 4.8 and found out that we were at the wrong location. And walked back again. Shit. Walked back to our post, sat down and started waiting for the arrival of the runners. All run fast fast, some people.. some people... a bit the bored, count the number of people who past and broadcast it to them -.-
Well. I survived drinking the Ice Mountain (As cold as the damn air con on the bus) meant for the runners. So no wonder there wasn't enough water. >.>
Walked back fast fast, drop beret. Got one noob pick up my beret, ask me do pushups then give me. Siao man he. I talk abit of cock then he say do 1 give me back. My ass lar. I ended up just walking and talking to everyone else. At the end he gave it back to me. Heh. Free carry-my-beret service. >)
Reach back, rush to the sqaure and then guess what. No milo truck. I was like. WTF! Milo truck is the only reason why people go for 4.8 runs.
I mean, what else is there to look forward to?? Sigh. They could have at least like. Free drinks. :D We do duty for them ok...
While waiting for the prize presentations and shit, we ended up throwing ice around the place.
Then got Sjab dismissal. Take like 5 hours just to phinish. Just say "Dismissed" then zhao lor... waste time only -.-
Did some CIP litter collection. Easy lor, go around ask ppl give me their rubbish, go drain take a few cans and bottles, 10 min finish :D
Left the damn Mac Ritchie at 7 15. Reah back 7 30. Siao. only 1 day and 2 hours left to do 2 art pieces :) I think ill go use my com.

Deadly Shadows

I am Garrett. Master Thief, and master of having a gay PC which automatically quits the game whenever the plot thickens. -.-
Wait.. I see a civilian with some nice glasses, a bag of loot and... a key... and... a bracelet. Heh.... *sneak* *follow* *enter alley* *club* *take loot* *happy* bwahahha... Life's good.. especially since I can pick any lock within 10 seconds flat. The fun parts going into the guard house and stabbing every guard in the back, whiel iding behind counters and watch them hurl pathetic insults at me. I suppose they failed their climbing teh counter test.
So. I stab this guard and try to run from the rest. *run run run* SHIT! And I get the auto sneak bug and start walking at the speed of snails on cheap petrol... Wait. Did that rat just outrun me? Damn. And suddenly, the guards come and knock me out cold. Sigh.
Well, I wake up in prison. This old geezer starts talking... And I throw my plates at him. Well. He goes off soon enough, and this guard comes along and shows me his ass while he's talking to me. At the same time he shows me his ass, he shows me his keys. So, like the master thief I am, I grab the keys and laugh at him as I open the door and walk off.
Basically, I get teh auto sneak bug again and get mobbed by half the prison guard. O well.
It's time to go sell my loot and buy myself a few arrows. Yeah, arrows sure are useful, especially since you can shoot people from behind a bar counter and they just act dumb.
Water arrows are just fun. Shoot em at some light and they go off. Fun. You give your neigbour a blackout then blackjack him to sleep. It's amazing how little expensive stuff people keep at home.
It's also interesting how you can stand aroudn outside for a few hundred hours and it's still night. Preedy fine weather they got there.
I take my leave. Loot calls.

What's wrong? Oh, you mean besides everything?

Shit. Art's due so soon, and so's a shitload of other stuff. Shit. It's not so much of what will happen to me if I dont do my shit, but the shit feeling I get when I think about it. Shit. nevermind.. At least i get to slack off X-Country. That can well, give me more tmie to think about my shitty state. Shit. You know what's the most shitful part? You look at someone else slacking and how they dont feel shitful, and you begin to feel shitful. Shit.

Pissa Hut

Well. Today was lunch at Pizza - no wait, i mean Pissa Hut. Firstly, we stood outside for about 10 minutes before getting in. We ordered 2 set meals, or should I say, main-course + soup + drink + appetiser for the cost of a set meal. The stuff came like. At 15 minutes intervals... Damn funny.. They were like. Damn blur lor... Run here run there.. then at one point there was like. a line of 10 people. Half the restaurant had empty tables. This Ang Moh guy was getting pissed with the staff and started shouting at them... rofl... They came running. After much hassle and shit, they finally managed to get those queueing seated. Took them long enough. The manager had to do like. everything. Clean tables, serve food, sit people down, collect money... Disorganised as hell... best of luck to them... the'll need it... :D

I wonder how, I wonder why...

I wonder how... I wonder why... some people join Singapore Idol even though they sing so bad... Some people obviously dont know.. but some of them do know.. i think... and still... >.<
O well... Some are quite good... but... none look like... good.... O well... Spose you cant have that at the start.
Haha.... finally we will be able to vote. But of course itll drain our wallets by a good 50 cents, but I guess its worth it. Sort of....

Phear Phactor

Haha... You've never eating weird food until you've eaten a pizza stuffed with M&Ms with M&Ms on top. The thing is, the M&Ms discolour and disfigure, and you get a pizza with M&M juice on it. Well... basically it tastes like M&Ms, only with mushrooms and tomato sauce... Come to think of it, it wasnt that bad. No way. Im kidding. Tasted... bad. :D Can show you a few pics of it if you want... but not for the faint-hearted ya? XD

Anyway... TV Mobile pisses me off. Just when your show starts to get good, the bus starts bouncing up and down and you get one heck of a screwed up TV set, where they stop talking and the whole thing just hangs for the next 3 minutes. Then, you start to get to another good part, and the bus jams its brakes, and you get a screwed up TV again. It should be called Patience TV, for you'll probably need patience, or at least be a deep sleeper to survive a long SBS bus jouney. Yup.

AC-Superstar

Well... You know you're a dumbass when.. at your friend's house... you go "Oh Shit! I left my ticket at home!" Then you take a taxi down a traffic congested road to your house, run in, grab your ticket and take the taxi to your school. Then, You pay the taxi driver and find out that...
If I had gone to school:
Cost of Ticket -$ 10
Cost of Taxi ride without going to my house - $2
Time spent - 20 min

What I actually did:
Cost of Taxi ride going to my house to get my ticket - $ 11.40
Time spent - 1 hour ++

My Stupidity? - Priceless

Woot! I saved SIXTY! YES SIXTY CENTS! Sheeeesh...
Anyhow.. Most of them didn't sound too good. Some were actually quite good...
The winner had a sore throat :P Everyone expected him to sing his winning song again and he went off to sing We Will Rock You -.-.
Listened to the recordings in the MR room, found out that the people who didnt sound too good were actually damn pro, and the winner sounded... quite bad.... at points at least.. Well.. Considering he won with a sore throat, he must be preddy damn good.

Inter-View? I think not.

Well. Inter-View? More like My-view-made-to-suit-whatever-view-you-have.
Sheesh. The IB interview was a blast im sure.. -.-
Started off nervous... waiting in line was probably the worst part... Drong asked me why i was not there just now. Like wtf? I was already 10 min early for the thing.... it wasn't even supposed to start yet...
Well. Drong sure as hell was damn happy -.- He looked like he didn't have enough coffee. Damnit. Whell... anyway... He went on and on about academic bullshit, how im gunna improve, etc... Joy.. So screwed...
Lucky me the groups for the inter-views were grouped according to psle score.. and since I didnt score too well.. im with the didnt-score-too-well group. I think that saved me to some extent O.o. Oh well....
I'm sorta more happy now... but whenever I think IB i think "oh shit"... so yeah.. off that topic...
Tomorrow is X-country... And my legs are already aching like hell, so maybe ill just jog and enjoy the scenery :D
Ac superstars coming... from what ive seen it's gunna be good... very good... can't wait for like... the actual -ahem- FIVE day hols... ahaha... So much stuff on teh agenda...
The Village... didn't look vry freaky.. so planning to go watch it... hopefully it wont turn out to be some "The Ring" in disguise and leave me with a heart attack even before I finish my popcorn... That so better not happen... Im not wasting good popcorn...

Survivor cum Amazing Race

Today was one hell of a day.
It all started off in the morning... we had PE. We were made to run 2.4... as usual... I started off slow... didn't really feel like running... but picked up the pace. Round the corner, I met up with my friend... And after some discussion, well, I got shoved. Haha... Used some damn funky moves and avoided damaging myuself too badly, but I did manage to bleed from my elbow, knee AND bruise my palms, and even made the oncoming motorcycle stop (thank God).... And Wow. I was still alive. In fact, I think I ran faster than I normally did, and did quite well. *flex* Heh. I should get injured more often.
Anyway... I just remembered that I had forgotten my phone and wallet. Such fun.. You feel handicapped if ya dun got your wallet and handphone.. deprived even.
Well... After PE we had fire drill.. whee... I was walking to class when that happened, and continued to do so.. until I realised the doors were shut. Sheesh. Sigh... had to walk back outside into the hot sun.
After school, we had CCA! Even more fun! -.-' well.. guess what. After CCA, no hp, no wallet. Spent gay amounts of coins on getting to rugby competition...
At least by the time I got there, it was half time -.-. But the score was good... Our sch played well and won :D Go AC..! Anyway... that probably means good news for us. Yup. Good news... Going home was a problem tho...
Now... The only thing left is the stay outside of my house for the whole of next week... More blogging in my few hundred hours of "free time". Joy... Till Next time...

Surviving on Music

Great. Now that my vien on my heads throbbing like a badly drawn piece of anime, I need to relieve it off thru some music. Ahh.. Music's like. Penadol. Especially if you get some good sounding shit. And no, rap causes the vien in your head to throb even more, and chiense opera will probably kill you by heart-attack even before your throbbing vien can burst.
The Chinese Opera today was bad. Just. Bad.
I need Coffee.

Singapore's Brainiest Kid

I don't get it. At all. How can they ask questions like... What is the ink squids squirt out called? Wtf? Coffee? The guy must be damn intelligent to choose that. Not only that, the show gives the kids questions which will take a rocket scientist to figure out. I mean... Even I don't know the answer... well.. that's not saying much... but still... It's not like the kids might be unhappy.. but what about the parents? Hahaha... You'll probably find a complaint or comment abt this in streats tmr... I mean... the peeps at home can stare blankly at their TV set Meals - woops. off track - They stare blankly at their TV, and like. freak. Who the hell knows what the colour of the fijilafytiwhatchamacallit plant's fruit.
>) just my 2 copper.

Nose job

Dammit. My nose still hurts from me ramming my face into my chair. Oviously it was intentional... Or not... Depending on whether you think that laughing your ass off and accidentally smashing your nose nose-first into a nice and hard plastic chair... I think I broke my nose. No wait. If I can smell stuff, does that mean it's not broken? Shit. I need to go check with my doctor... ;)
Anyhow, Art is killing me. Slowly.. It's like. taunting me...
"Haha, you can't draw..."
"Oh yes i can"
"Explain that horrible drawing of a cow then"
"That's not a cow, that's a doorknob"
"Oh... I would have enver known..."
"Shut up."
"No you shut up"
"You try to insult me with your so-called intelligence"
"You already insult me with your so-called drawing skills"
"I hate you"
"Don't we all...?"

When I grow up

IB interview is coming... And they gunna ask me what job I want to do.. The best answer would probably be anything and everything... It's best to get the best out of life right? Right. Anyway... Well. It's not an easy task thinking of what you're gunna be in the future. I hate being bogged down. My goals are non-existant... on the soccer field and in my life. Humour is hard to come by at such late hours..
Now, before I go about giving a lecture on what's ethical and what's not, I'd better shut up and go have a coffee. Coffee...

Mercora

Was reading up on the all powerful New Paper, and came across this... It's pre-tty interesting... sorta like p2p things, only without the illgegal stuff. Only downside is that you can only listen to the shiot people have, but ya cant download it. Not really a problem, until you find out that they onloy have around 50 active people at one time.. so yeah... check it out if you want... www.mercora.com. That's pronounced mer-co-ra ya?

Blow-up

Wow. Our math teacher like. Snapped today. It happened in a blur, and the class was kinda stunned. However, like always, our class returned to normal within... 3 minutes. Sigh... we'll probably hear more about it tomorrow...

Nocturnal a.k.a In need of facial

I never understood the concepts of having cucumbers on your eyes. Cucumbers affect the stomach bad enough, and now people want it on their eyes. They should make like. papaya and cucumber machines of mass destruction. They better have a cure for diarrhoea by then, or at least have more toilets.
Back on the topic of sleep, or lack of it, I propose for more coffee. I mean... websites like these thrive on lack of sleep. Where else can you get the deranged banter of someone other than a blog at 11 pm? Me? Well, that's an exception. Just insert a 10c coin and you get instant mindless-banter.
Cheers.

Counter-Depression

1 depression,
2 depression,
3 depression,
4....

Heh. You know what sucks? Sticking all your not-very-high-brainpower into a project thing which doesn't work after hours of working on it. Yup. Sad isn't it?

Well. Like the title suggests, we all need a counter-depression-er. In other words, hope for a phone :D. That should cheer me up. I hope. If I ever get it that is. Keeping my fingers crossed (I'll never know why the hell people do that...) and counting my depressions..