Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Watering Holes and the like.

Well. So just a few days ago, the herd set off for my now favourite watering hole, the Esplande(sp). Well. One would wonder what drinks one could find in something so tasty as a durian. But thats because youve never been IN the Esplanade. And when I mean IN, i dont mean in. I mean, IN. So yes. What is IN you ask? How much further into the haert of a building can you get apart from the toilets? The heart of a building is a toilet. And this is where our herd headed to. Of course, the toilet is good you say, but what has that got to do with watering holes? Surely the great herd wouldnt resort to drinking from The Bowl like common dogs? Of course not. We relied mainly on the gleaming new taps and sparkling basins of which were to overflow with bountiful water. Water so fresh, colgate would be ashamed. No where have I tasted water so good. And yes, I have tried many waters. Let me just state a few:

My House Tap:
Taste: 7/10
Im bored of the taste. Begins to taste slightly... Like the texture of Sodium Hydroxide. If you have ever felt it anyway.
Presentation: 5/10
Age does nothing to better this aready aged dispenser of H2O

The Water Coolers Near the OM Room:
Taste: 7/10
Surprisingly normal tasting despite the wild concoctions poured down the gullet of this metal mechanism.
Presentation: 10/10
If You was an art teacher.
Otherwise, 3/10.
Now That is one ugly cooler. Think the ugliest person you know, No. Not me. Then think worse. Hmm. Water just isnt appealing to drink when its tainted with the blood of a thousand paint cans. In fact, the blob of congealed lava - I mean slime - Does nothing to improve the situation.

The Water Next To The SAC Toilet:
Taste: 5/10
Think Toilet. Think School Toilet. Think Smell. Smell smell. Taste the water. Now what do you think?
Presentation: 4/10
At least the water cooler looks presentable, but who in the right state of mind would think a water cooler next to a dustbin, a toilet, and a dental bus looks good?

The Water Cooler At The CyberAC:
Taste: 3/10
Even with the telligent people in our homely CyberAC, the water here still tastes like crap. The chin chow and leaves dont really make it taste any better.
Presentation: 2/10
In a tight little corner, with a breeding grounds for a colony of viruses, worms, and horses - trojan ones at that - just a few meters away, this is one hotspot for all things evil. Or just bad for your computer anyway. The fact that the small space also might hide cockroaches and the like, this watercooler is not for the faint of heart.

The Water At The Esplanade:
Taste: 10/10
Water never tasted so good.
Presentation: 9/10
Almost perfect, except for that fact that three people standing in a line glugging down glugs of water right opposite the urinals isnt very hygienic, nor is it very hot. In fact, I think scenes like that should be best ommitted from the mind, and any passerby who walks into to toilet is bound to get a shock.Of course one could just pretend to be washing your face, but washing your face doesnt give that much satisfaction.

In the words of some famous guy: "If the water has more colour than lack of it, its probably not safe."

1 Comments:

Blogger Bean said...

9/10

10:11 PM  

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