Regarding all things veggie-like

Well. Was discussing about veg with twisted boi, and i have com to a few conclusions. Basically, these are the steadfast rules for all veggie-kind:

1) Veggies taste bad. Anything which tastes good can't be veggies.
2) Veggies are green
3) Beans are veggies
4) Potatoes are the only veg which doesnt taste bad basically cos they are potatoes.
5) Things which are processed can't be veggies. Thats why mashed potatoes aren't veggies.
6) Soya beans aren't veggies tho. They are crystallised sauce. Soya bean milk is crystallised sauce curdled. Tofu is soya sauce curdled twice over.
7) Hydroponics is vegetables which can breathe underwater
8) Aeroponics is vegetables which can breathe air
9) Soiloponics is vegetables which can breathe - no wait, you cant breathe soil.
10) Chinese cabbage is only called Chinese cabbage because the cabbage fell through the earth.
11) The story of the giant turnip is total bull. Turnips are never good. All things good are potatoes.
12) Tomatoes and potatoes are pronounced (toe - mae - toes) and (poe - tae - toes). Everything else you heard was just political propaganda. Obviously they failed their speak good english movement.
13) Bean sprouts, or affectionately known as Tau Gay, (pun intended) are totally non-veg. Considering that they taste good, they overpower all other laws.