Drunk boxing, Drunk sword, Drunk stick.

Hmmm... Went to watch some shaolin stuff today. The only thing which looked good were the qigong stunts. The choreography was quite bad. But yeh, there were the high points and the low points. And there was the guy with the iron abs. (I dont think I can withstand 10 people ramming me with a log.) Anyhow. I forgot to mention that the commentator had a knack for pronouncing everything way wrong. Take for example. Iron belly as Eyeron Behlei... Anyhow, if you shut off her voice, it sort of helped. Except that you wouldnt know what was happening.
Heh. Anyway, what is the definition of drunk? I mean, we should know, considering that everyone has drunk before. How could you consume water without drunking it? Anyway. A stereotypical drunk is someone who wobbles along and has a lack of hand-eye coordination, or beerbottle-mouth coordination, as can be seen in how more beer appears to be flowing onto the guy's shirt rather than into his mouth. Anyway, if that was true, how could drunken fighting happen. No, not bar brawls or tavern tussels, but how does drunken fighting happen, especially if you cant tell a guy's eyes from his nuts. Hmm. So what do pandas have to do with ale? Hm. The only explaination I can think of is pandas look like they have permanent hangovers. Its either that or people with hangovers have permanent pandas. That cant be right. Today isnt a very illogical day for me to blog, thus rendering this post extremely unillogical. Ahh well. Finally, ending with my quote from some famous guy: "Under the belt is not unethical when you cant locate it."

Fag Raising

So. The first flag raising I have ever done had to happen on the day where the air con died. Post death actually, rigor mortis has set into it, where you can no longer adjust the temperature, and the lessons seem to draw nearer. Ill never understand why we have increasing loads of work even as the exam draws near.. Anyway. On to flag raising.

So you thought flag raising was easy. Well, actually it is. But if you were close enough to see Dr Ong's shaving mishap (well, not really), you should feel somewhat disturbed. With Bongard standing there with a grim grin, and my shirt boardering on the untuck, and socks which seemingly seem to descend to the depths of my shoes, demerit points just seemed a few footsteps away. But thats not the main problem. The problem is how a betting syndicate somehow pops up in your class, and the odds against you are what, 8 to 4.Heh. Somethink like that anyway. So now, feeling like a horse which ate too much horse radish, I twitched my leg repeatedly (you would too if you stood for 15 minutes with one leg on the incline and the other on the decline. uh. Syncline. Uh. Ya.) , and by harnassing the power of the garden gnomes in the school garden, the flag slowly creeped up the flag pole with the help of your friendly garden gnomelings. The movement up was inconsistent, probably due to my twitching leg and the heat of the area. Lucky for me, mosquitoes were as attracted to me as they would be to cream cheese. (I dont think mosquitoes like cream cheese. Do they? If they did I could arrange some sort of cheese event, considering that we're all cheesy people.) So I wasnt that bad off. Thank God for breeze and short assemblys. However, I managed to pass the time staring at the pink flowered bush. Not so much the bush, but the pink flowers. Heh. I bet they were put there for this exact purpose. Except they interchange the colours according to the flag raiser. Heh. It's sad how Dr Ong never thanked Sjab, but there was no obvious need, considering that we all saw how leet it was. I mean, my flag stayed up throughout school. Now thats an achievement.
In the words of some famous guy: "A zipper is like a flag. When it's at half mast, people start noticing something wrong."

Watering Holes and the like.

Well. So just a few days ago, the herd set off for my now favourite watering hole, the Esplande(sp). Well. One would wonder what drinks one could find in something so tasty as a durian. But thats because youve never been IN the Esplanade. And when I mean IN, i dont mean in. I mean, IN. So yes. What is IN you ask? How much further into the haert of a building can you get apart from the toilets? The heart of a building is a toilet. And this is where our herd headed to. Of course, the toilet is good you say, but what has that got to do with watering holes? Surely the great herd wouldnt resort to drinking from The Bowl like common dogs? Of course not. We relied mainly on the gleaming new taps and sparkling basins of which were to overflow with bountiful water. Water so fresh, colgate would be ashamed. No where have I tasted water so good. And yes, I have tried many waters. Let me just state a few:

My House Tap:
Taste: 7/10
Im bored of the taste. Begins to taste slightly... Like the texture of Sodium Hydroxide. If you have ever felt it anyway.
Presentation: 5/10
Age does nothing to better this aready aged dispenser of H2O

The Water Coolers Near the OM Room:
Taste: 7/10
Surprisingly normal tasting despite the wild concoctions poured down the gullet of this metal mechanism.
Presentation: 10/10
If You was an art teacher.
Otherwise, 3/10.
Now That is one ugly cooler. Think the ugliest person you know, No. Not me. Then think worse. Hmm. Water just isnt appealing to drink when its tainted with the blood of a thousand paint cans. In fact, the blob of congealed lava - I mean slime - Does nothing to improve the situation.

The Water Next To The SAC Toilet:
Taste: 5/10
Think Toilet. Think School Toilet. Think Smell. Smell smell. Taste the water. Now what do you think?
Presentation: 4/10
At least the water cooler looks presentable, but who in the right state of mind would think a water cooler next to a dustbin, a toilet, and a dental bus looks good?

The Water Cooler At The CyberAC:
Taste: 3/10
Even with the telligent people in our homely CyberAC, the water here still tastes like crap. The chin chow and leaves dont really make it taste any better.
Presentation: 2/10
In a tight little corner, with a breeding grounds for a colony of viruses, worms, and horses - trojan ones at that - just a few meters away, this is one hotspot for all things evil. Or just bad for your computer anyway. The fact that the small space also might hide cockroaches and the like, this watercooler is not for the faint of heart.

The Water At The Esplanade:
Taste: 10/10
Water never tasted so good.
Presentation: 9/10
Almost perfect, except for that fact that three people standing in a line glugging down glugs of water right opposite the urinals isnt very hygienic, nor is it very hot. In fact, I think scenes like that should be best ommitted from the mind, and any passerby who walks into to toilet is bound to get a shock.Of course one could just pretend to be washing your face, but washing your face doesnt give that much satisfaction.

In the words of some famous guy: "If the water has more colour than lack of it, its probably not safe."

What you can learn from tom yum.

Heh. You dont know what you can learn from food until its on you. Hmmm.. lets say you buy an average 1.50 bowl of yom yam. relatively average. BUT. not so averagely, someone spills it completely all over your berms. You now got greasy trousers, and your wallet has been sapped of 79 cents - plus minus those bamboo like things and ginger like things -. Hmm. Well, i was either very tired, stupid, or patient at that time (I choose the latter of the latter.), and didnt really complain much. Verbally that is. Uh. yeah. Well, now with greasy pants which smell as if Tom had a nasty little accident, and Yum hardly being the taste of my food anymore, as well as two tuitions ahead, I could either postpone my tuition, go to tuition and sleep, pon tuition, or just commit suicide. Well, im sure you would be happy if i did commit suicide, but i thought against it. Not very healthy commiting suicide is. Creates a stain on the floor too. Especially if you chose too high a building. Hm. So i guess i went for tuition, considering how ethical i am. Met some peeps, talked some stuff, and generally forgot about the greasy pants. Not. Well, it is true that dry and smelly pants beat greasy smelly and colourful pants hands down, but having a general fear of touching under your belt can cause much discomfort. Hm... at least tom yum isnt irrtitating to the skin, or i would be looking slightly queer at tuition. Yes. Now with 1 hour left to my next tuition, and half of my tuition work left, I think i should get to the point. What IS the lesson you can learn from tom yum? Well. If you think eating with your pants is hard, try wearing pants with your mouth. Didnt make sense? Wasnt supposed to. But seriously. Tom yum does wonders for shaping ones attitude to life. Somewhat. Well. Considering that Ive just devote 15 minutes of my life, and about 300 words worth of nonsense about your average Thai dish, Ill conclude with some famous guy's words: "Food generally tastes better if its in your mouth." Chows.

Chieksns Flu

We all know Singapore was once affected by something much worse than the common flu. An uncommon flu by the name of the bird flu, or more affectionately known as chicken flu, or even more affectionately - as affectionate as i am to my doorknob - known as chieksns flu. It went from unnoticed to uncommon to understood to unnerving to underground. Yup. Of no relation whatsoever, the government has "secretly" dumped thousands and thousands of eggs underground. They claim that the eggs were spoilt, rotten, not eatable. But we all know how sneaky the government is, and that it was all a ploy. A ploy to reduce the cholesterol level in Singapore. What sneaky bastards.
Think casino. Think Singapore. Think jackpot. Think jackass. See the relationship? actually. I dont. But yes, we all disagree that a casino is a good idea. Most believe so because of the social harm it would bring to Singapore, but I think most people I know think so cos they're underaged. You cant escape the truth can you? xD
Well. This post has been heading to the town in the far east by the name of nowhere. "Get the post started!" You say. Well, It already has. And everthing that has a beginning, has an end. Everything that has an end, has an ass. Everything that has an ass, probably is one. xD In the words of some famous guy: "You say it best, when you say nothing at all." I say, You think best when you're thinking of nothing at all. Cheers to a whole new realm of mindless-banter. Just when you thought you had enough...

But the Force is gay

Ha. so r&j project turned out to be not bad.. the actual thing wasnt that bad, but the bset part is editing. heh. 3 hours of editing kind of kills the brain. It kills the brain so much that Im not even thinking what im currently writing about now. Just writing for the sake of writing. Heh. How about.. pester me to think of something more intellectual and hopefully funny next time. Till then, I recommend you stay tuned for our projcet on mon xD
Ha.. out of point.. but is it just me or do half the people on my list have deep blogs. O.o I feel like someones doing land reclaimation... Everythings shallower as you go deeper. Heh. I guess unhappiness will always be here, as will problems in life. But yeah, to those who feel the relevance - try not to let life's troubles bog you down. Take for example me getting pissed with my fish for not acting their salmon selves and throwing too much food in the pond in the hopes of making the water smell bad. Ha. Good idea, but I didnt think that fishes like that smell. Ahhh well. Can fishes smell? Ill never know. I doubt it. I must be a fish.

War is Inevitable.

Heh. Today was weird. We had a classroom debate on whether war was inevitable or evitable. I was rooting for war being inevitable. I mean. There was a war brewing right in the heart of our class and we were still arguing whether human nature is such that people can/would choose to stay peaceful for preservation? Its like.. Its more us classmates competiting against each other to win the debate. Same way in the world I guess. However, classroom debates and classroom arguments should stay in the classroom. Recess is the way to go. Heh.
Anyhow, yeah, I would consider writing more, but there are games to be played and work to be done. In the words of some famous guy: "Make love, not war". Peace.

It's a sad day to be happy.

Heh. Well, from what ive heard, 0 - 6 isnt really the way you want to end up after a rugby match. Gay. Things could have gone better. Maybe it would have worked out if I wasnt at the Omnimax watching random explosions on a screen for a lame excuse of the forces of nature. The only thing to lift my mood was the fact that there was nothing about tsunamis. Dont think that I dont have any sympathy for the tsunami victims. Its just that.. too much of the awww turns into an uh-huh. After a while, its more of a please dont show more of it kind of thing. Today's article is hardly funny, but its hardly meant to be. Today was a day of stoning worthy of any fold mountain. I havent been myself lately, from school to blogging. I feel the funny going right out of my bones. (pun intended) See? Ive lost it already. Maybe its something to do with the fact that if you read funny things, you dont become funny. People just laugh at you. Right now i cant tell whether thats good or bad.Something good needs to happen and fast. In the meanwhile, zugzugzug.