Mindless-banter

Wit is just 1 t short of twit

2005-05-13T21:00:00.000+08:00

Heh. Is it possible to become so mindless that you get hated for it? Lets just say I go so off topic and so irrelevant to my posts that it doesnt even make sense anymore. Would I face the judgement of hundred-strong crowds that would overrun my house and scream bloody murder for normality to ooze out of my pores? By the way, whoever coined the phrase 'scream bloody murder' really made some kickass term. Its a palindrome almost. When you scream, bloody is one of the words which my just emit from that mantlous mouth of yours, and when theres murder, the only time where there wouldnt be blood is if the cold blooded killer had a bad mishap with his toaster. That didnt really make sense did it. It wasnt supposed to. Anyhow, back to the topic. Could I go so off topic that even off topic is too far from it? Would A post with a title of off topicness be able to encompass whatever off topicness that would come out from it? Bleh I dont have much heart in posting this post, BUT, since i will always have an interest in comedy, retardation and anything vaguely amusing, I cant really hate my own banter can I. Sometimes i do regret what I post, but thats just when I post a really bad post. Like this. I mean, this is practically a filler for whats to come. Something to waste your time to benefit me. Heh. In the words of some famous guy: "Being able to Believe the unbelievable surely is believable isnt it."

You got mail (b****)

2005-05-13T20:50:00.000+08:00

Heh. So since i decided that no one in their right mind would send fan mail to me, I have come to the conclusion that I should send mail to people, then put those on my blog. What a fantastic idea! It goes along the lines of "You wont give me money so ill give you money and become famous." Well actually no. If donald trump did that he would be so much the less rich, and wouldnt really be a celeb anymore. Someone with the business sense of a 3rd eye, he sure does have the fashion sense of a 3rd leg. No wait. Bad analogy. Im sorry. Anyway, on to the letters. Woot.

Letter 1:
Ok Jhon. Since your at bio now, and I think you would probably be suffering, I decided out of the kindness of my heart to send you good info on what to say on monday. Im sure you would be happy to note that i have many good things to say, plus im in a good mood. Considering I dont have any exams anymore. Unlike you. Ha. Oh no, someone just called you stupid. Help. This is problem. It might be jhon-depricating, or it might also be the truth. Now you cant handle the truth. Can you? Heh. Lang arts sure is fun. I just blogged an entire blog to you. Feel encouraged that I waste my recess time to type out this letter to you. Wo xi wang hui jin kuai de dao ni de lai xing. Now while I wallow in self-happiness, I shall continue on to state my points for our presentation.

Letter 2:
Well, ok you got me there. So I dont have a letter 2. Sue me. If you did you could prolly match donald trump and roll in cash, literally. I mean, with some shape like that he should be able to roll. Shouldnt he? Now, before you swipe my head and demand refund, this is not technically a blog post, so be expecting more a few minutes down the line. Heh. Being not at home sure got 3 times the funner.

Note the 3 3s in this blog post. And note the 1 3 in Friday the 13th? Well, they connect somehow. Somehow. In the words of some famous guy: "Letters consist of lets and ers. So let ers now end this conversation." If you didnt get that, try switching on punny mode and reread that.

Isolation Violation

2005-05-02T21:50:00.000+08:00

Hmm. Today felt depressingly bad. Somewhat like a jail cell. Mpmh. With the ability to go out (I cant be too sure about this), and yet this mindset of "I should be studying" assaulting my already beaten brain, I felt pretty bad today. Yeh. But enough rambling, more banter. So. with only my brother to talk to (this doesnt really count) , and people on msn, (ian / clareng / the bunch of people who shld be studying like me but arent.), the day passed pretty slowly, and I was beginning to wonder whether holidays before the exams was such a good idea. Anyhow, I resorted to going down over and over again to feed the fish (the fish seem be twice their original size alreay. Think 5 meals a day.), and stoning around the house, trying to not use the com so I would feel less guilty. Heh. Anyhow, I had to make lunch for us this fateful day. The menu for the day consisted of:

Appetizer:
Slightly toasted and crisp slices of thin air. The aroma so refreshing and the taste so fulfilling, its amazing how an average person takes this for granted.

Main Course:
An assortment of sauces, ranging from BBQ to BBQ to 1 Year stale mustard to honey to terriyaki source will tantalise your tastebuds as you start off on your expedition a food haven. Garnished with golden yet soft and half-cooked fries with last night's chicken on the side.

Dessert:
Not to be confused with desert, dessert consists of a palatable plate, as well as a frosty mug of lemon juice. Fresh from the carton. Not so fresh from some california plantation thing.

Enjoy your meal.

Anyhow, I managed to get through that meal with only one stomachache that night, probably due to the half cooked fries... (Hey the packet DID say DONT OVERCOOK THE FRIES didnt it?) Anyhow, after such delectable delights, my day only had one way to go by. Improve? Nah. Deprove, Yeh. So basically stuff went EVEN MORE downhill from there, as I begin to slack even more, and fail to study much properly. However, I must say that I managed to get some of my Chinese done. Some.

A day of isolation in my very own home with no outsiders to talk to gave me some sort of depression, and yet, with depression comes enlightenment. So today I have learnt more truths about life. The main takeaway I got is that I should never cook again, until next time that is. Hmm. In the words of some famous guy: "The reason why they're called french fries is cos the french made it." (You DO realise thats a bad thing right? Go ask clarence)

Drunk boxing, Drunk sword, Drunk stick.

2005-04-29T23:10:00.000+08:00

Hmmm... Went to watch some shaolin stuff today. The only thing which looked good were the qigong stunts. The choreography was quite bad. But yeh, there were the high points and the low points. And there was the guy with the iron abs. (I dont think I can withstand 10 people ramming me with a log.) Anyhow. I forgot to mention that the commentator had a knack for pronouncing everything way wrong. Take for example. Iron belly as Eyeron Behlei... Anyhow, if you shut off her voice, it sort of helped. Except that you wouldnt know what was happening.
Heh. Anyway, what is the definition of drunk? I mean, we should know, considering that everyone has drunk before. How could you consume water without drunking it? Anyway. A stereotypical drunk is someone who wobbles along and has a lack of hand-eye coordination, or beerbottle-mouth coordination, as can be seen in how more beer appears to be flowing onto the guy's shirt rather than into his mouth. Anyway, if that was true, how could drunken fighting happen. No, not bar brawls or tavern tussels, but how does drunken fighting happen, especially if you cant tell a guy's eyes from his nuts. Hmm. So what do pandas have to do with ale? Hm. The only explaination I can think of is pandas look like they have permanent hangovers. Its either that or people with hangovers have permanent pandas. That cant be right. Today isnt a very illogical day for me to blog, thus rendering this post extremely unillogical. Ahh well. Finally, ending with my quote from some famous guy: "Under the belt is not unethical when you cant locate it."

Fag Raising

2005-04-27T22:36:00.000+08:00

So. The first flag raising I have ever done had to happen on the day where the air con died. Post death actually, rigor mortis has set into it, where you can no longer adjust the temperature, and the lessons seem to draw nearer. Ill never understand why we have increasing loads of work even as the exam draws near.. Anyway. On to flag raising.

So you thought flag raising was easy. Well, actually it is. But if you were close enough to see Dr Ong's shaving mishap (well, not really), you should feel somewhat disturbed. With Bongard standing there with a grim grin, and my shirt boardering on the untuck, and socks which seemingly seem to descend to the depths of my shoes, demerit points just seemed a few footsteps away. But thats not the main problem. The problem is how a betting syndicate somehow pops up in your class, and the odds against you are what, 8 to 4.Heh. Somethink like that anyway. So now, feeling like a horse which ate too much horse radish, I twitched my leg repeatedly (you would too if you stood for 15 minutes with one leg on the incline and the other on the decline. uh. Syncline. Uh. Ya.) , and by harnassing the power of the garden gnomes in the school garden, the flag slowly creeped up the flag pole with the help of your friendly garden gnomelings. The movement up was inconsistent, probably due to my twitching leg and the heat of the area. Lucky for me, mosquitoes were as attracted to me as they would be to cream cheese. (I dont think mosquitoes like cream cheese. Do they? If they did I could arrange some sort of cheese event, considering that we're all cheesy people.) So I wasnt that bad off. Thank God for breeze and short assemblys. However, I managed to pass the time staring at the pink flowered bush. Not so much the bush, but the pink flowers. Heh. I bet they were put there for this exact purpose. Except they interchange the colours according to the flag raiser. Heh. It's sad how Dr Ong never thanked Sjab, but there was no obvious need, considering that we all saw how leet it was. I mean, my flag stayed up throughout school. Now thats an achievement.
In the words of some famous guy: "A zipper is like a flag. When it's at half mast, people start noticing something wrong."

Watering Holes and the like.

2005-04-26T21:09:00.000+08:00

Well. So just a few days ago, the herd set off for my now favourite watering hole, the Esplande(sp). Well. One would wonder what drinks one could find in something so tasty as a durian. But thats because youve never been IN the Esplanade. And when I mean IN, i dont mean in. I mean, IN. So yes. What is IN you ask? How much further into the haert of a building can you get apart from the toilets? The heart of a building is a toilet. And this is where our herd headed to. Of course, the toilet is good you say, but what has that got to do with watering holes? Surely the great herd wouldnt resort to drinking from The Bowl like common dogs? Of course not. We relied mainly on the gleaming new taps and sparkling basins of which were to overflow with bountiful water. Water so fresh, colgate would be ashamed. No where have I tasted water so good. And yes, I have tried many waters. Let me just state a few:

My House Tap:
Taste: 7/10
Im bored of the taste. Begins to taste slightly... Like the texture of Sodium Hydroxide. If you have ever felt it anyway.
Presentation: 5/10
Age does nothing to better this aready aged dispenser of H2O

The Water Coolers Near the OM Room:
Taste: 7/10
Surprisingly normal tasting despite the wild concoctions poured down the gullet of this metal mechanism.
Presentation: 10/10
If You was an art teacher.
Otherwise, 3/10.
Now That is one ugly cooler. Think the ugliest person you know, No. Not me. Then think worse. Hmm. Water just isnt appealing to drink when its tainted with the blood of a thousand paint cans. In fact, the blob of congealed lava - I mean slime - Does nothing to improve the situation.

The Water Next To The SAC Toilet:
Taste: 5/10
Think Toilet. Think School Toilet. Think Smell. Smell smell. Taste the water. Now what do you think?
Presentation: 4/10
At least the water cooler looks presentable, but who in the right state of mind would think a water cooler next to a dustbin, a toilet, and a dental bus looks good?

The Water Cooler At The CyberAC:
Taste: 3/10
Even with the telligent people in our homely CyberAC, the water here still tastes like crap. The chin chow and leaves dont really make it taste any better.
Presentation: 2/10
In a tight little corner, with a breeding grounds for a colony of viruses, worms, and horses - trojan ones at that - just a few meters away, this is one hotspot for all things evil. Or just bad for your computer anyway. The fact that the small space also might hide cockroaches and the like, this watercooler is not for the faint of heart.

The Water At The Esplanade:
Taste: 10/10
Water never tasted so good.
Presentation: 9/10
Almost perfect, except for that fact that three people standing in a line glugging down glugs of water right opposite the urinals isnt very hygienic, nor is it very hot. In fact, I think scenes like that should be best ommitted from the mind, and any passerby who walks into to toilet is bound to get a shock.Of course one could just pretend to be washing your face, but washing your face doesnt give that much satisfaction.

In the words of some famous guy: "If the water has more colour than lack of it, its probably not safe."

What you can learn from tom yum.

2005-04-21T18:44:00.000+08:00

Heh. You dont know what you can learn from food until its on you. Hmmm.. lets say you buy an average 1.50 bowl of yom yam. relatively average. BUT. not so averagely, someone spills it completely all over your berms. You now got greasy trousers, and your wallet has been sapped of 79 cents - plus minus those bamboo like things and ginger like things -. Hmm. Well, i was either very tired, stupid, or patient at that time (I choose the latter of the latter.), and didnt really complain much. Verbally that is. Uh. yeah. Well, now with greasy pants which smell as if Tom had a nasty little accident, and Yum hardly being the taste of my food anymore, as well as two tuitions ahead, I could either postpone my tuition, go to tuition and sleep, pon tuition, or just commit suicide. Well, im sure you would be happy if i did commit suicide, but i thought against it. Not very healthy commiting suicide is. Creates a stain on the floor too. Especially if you chose too high a building. Hm. So i guess i went for tuition, considering how ethical i am. Met some peeps, talked some stuff, and generally forgot about the greasy pants. Not. Well, it is true that dry and smelly pants beat greasy smelly and colourful pants hands down, but having a general fear of touching under your belt can cause much discomfort. Hm... at least tom yum isnt irrtitating to the skin, or i would be looking slightly queer at tuition. Yes. Now with 1 hour left to my next tuition, and half of my tuition work left, I think i should get to the point. What IS the lesson you can learn from tom yum? Well. If you think eating with your pants is hard, try wearing pants with your mouth. Didnt make sense? Wasnt supposed to. But seriously. Tom yum does wonders for shaping ones attitude to life. Somewhat. Well. Considering that Ive just devote 15 minutes of my life, and about 300 words worth of nonsense about your average Thai dish, Ill conclude with some famous guy's words: "Food generally tastes better if its in your mouth." Chows.

Chieksns Flu

2005-04-18T20:10:00.000+08:00

We all know Singapore was once affected by something much worse than the common flu. An uncommon flu by the name of the bird flu, or more affectionately known as chicken flu, or even more affectionately - as affectionate as i am to my doorknob - known as chieksns flu. It went from unnoticed to uncommon to understood to unnerving to underground. Yup. Of no relation whatsoever, the government has "secretly" dumped thousands and thousands of eggs underground. They claim that the eggs were spoilt, rotten, not eatable. But we all know how sneaky the government is, and that it was all a ploy. A ploy to reduce the cholesterol level in Singapore. What sneaky bastards.
Think casino. Think Singapore. Think jackpot. Think jackass. See the relationship? actually. I dont. But yes, we all disagree that a casino is a good idea. Most believe so because of the social harm it would bring to Singapore, but I think most people I know think so cos they're underaged. You cant escape the truth can you? xD
Well. This post has been heading to the town in the far east by the name of nowhere. "Get the post started!" You say. Well, It already has. And everthing that has a beginning, has an end. Everything that has an end, has an ass. Everything that has an ass, probably is one. xD In the words of some famous guy: "You say it best, when you say nothing at all." I say, You think best when you're thinking of nothing at all. Cheers to a whole new realm of mindless-banter. Just when you thought you had enough...

But the Force is gay

2005-04-17T00:52:00.000+08:00

Ha. so r&j project turned out to be not bad.. the actual thing wasnt that bad, but the bset part is editing. heh. 3 hours of editing kind of kills the brain. It kills the brain so much that Im not even thinking what im currently writing about now. Just writing for the sake of writing. Heh. How about.. pester me to think of something more intellectual and hopefully funny next time. Till then, I recommend you stay tuned for our projcet on mon xD
Ha.. out of point.. but is it just me or do half the people on my list have deep blogs. O.o I feel like someones doing land reclaimation... Everythings shallower as you go deeper. Heh. I guess unhappiness will always be here, as will problems in life. But yeah, to those who feel the relevance - try not to let life's troubles bog you down. Take for example me getting pissed with my fish for not acting their salmon selves and throwing too much food in the pond in the hopes of making the water smell bad. Ha. Good idea, but I didnt think that fishes like that smell. Ahhh well. Can fishes smell? Ill never know. I doubt it. I must be a fish.

War is Inevitable.

2005-04-15T19:56:00.000+08:00

Heh. Today was weird. We had a classroom debate on whether war was inevitable or evitable. I was rooting for war being inevitable. I mean. There was a war brewing right in the heart of our class and we were still arguing whether human nature is such that people can/would choose to stay peaceful for preservation? Its like.. Its more us classmates competiting against each other to win the debate. Same way in the world I guess. However, classroom debates and classroom arguments should stay in the classroom. Recess is the way to go. Heh.
Anyhow, yeah, I would consider writing more, but there are games to be played and work to be done. In the words of some famous guy: "Make love, not war". Peace.

It's a sad day to be happy.

2005-04-14T21:34:00.000+08:00

Heh. Well, from what ive heard, 0 - 6 isnt really the way you want to end up after a rugby match. Gay. Things could have gone better. Maybe it would have worked out if I wasnt at the Omnimax watching random explosions on a screen for a lame excuse of the forces of nature. The only thing to lift my mood was the fact that there was nothing about tsunamis. Dont think that I dont have any sympathy for the tsunami victims. Its just that.. too much of the awww turns into an uh-huh. After a while, its more of a please dont show more of it kind of thing. Today's article is hardly funny, but its hardly meant to be. Today was a day of stoning worthy of any fold mountain. I havent been myself lately, from school to blogging. I feel the funny going right out of my bones. (pun intended) See? Ive lost it already. Maybe its something to do with the fact that if you read funny things, you dont become funny. People just laugh at you. Right now i cant tell whether thats good or bad.Something good needs to happen and fast. In the meanwhile, zugzugzug.

I am the Master Chief. Of pon.

2005-03-02T15:22:00.000+08:00

Heh. Hello all you people who just wasted 3 hours of your life in school watching a rendition of Romeo and Juliet. Life at home sure is fun. Wait. Its a good show now. Ill be back. Ok. Im back. :D Ok.. Before I get a tomato in my eye, Ill just clear up the air and say that I have suffered my part already heh. Saturday was hell with only Derek and Tim to talk to. Im out of ideas and eager to go get myself a copy of Dota 6.0... but quick recap of flounders day. Stuff dont get worse until the ministers leave. yeh. Imho, the ministers should stay the whole time and suffer the longitude and latitude of boredom. Oh yeah. They need signs for the toilet and back. It goes like this - "THIS WAY TO YOUR SEAT" Not very practical, but neccessary for certain people whose names I shall not mention for sake of privacy, and in case he thumps me. But thats not the point. Oh yeah. And by the way, the indoor stadium is possibly the one which is, like, INDOORS. Not the one with the four big shiny lights.
I have this feeling that people are stalking me. Or just one guy for that matter. How about I see him three times in one day at three different places. Of course its just Fabriz, but what happens if hes not. What happens if aliens landed on earth and stole our tv. What happens if you run out of toilet paper in school? Ill never know, and i never want to. But in conclusion, dont spend the time if you cant do the crime.

You haven't noticed till you Noticed

2005-02-28T20:42:00.000+08:00

Heh. I guess its time to start blogging again. My brain cant keep up with all the stuff i think off. Hopefully I can get it straight this time.
Weellll.... We all know life as we know life, but how well do we know how well we know? It goes like this. Sometimes things happen, but we think it too normal to react. I mean, you dont go about saying "Wow. This grain of rice sure tastes good this time. And that time. And this time. And that one too. Wow." Neither do you go about saying "This air is good stuff. I wish air was this good. No, wait. It IS this good. Ah, there it is again." Its like.. thw world is too unappreciative of the fact that there is too much to appreciate. I cant erally understand it myself, but yeah, on a "serious"note, I hope youll still tolerate me for my nonsense, and if you dont, go away and never come back. heh. Cheers to a new life of Mindless-Banter, for you never knew till you know.

The Living Hair

2004-11-18T21:30:00.000+08:00

Well. So. The seperate organism which has duly attached itself to my head has finally finished another cycle of its long and pathetic life. With its new span of life, it can hopefully bloom to become what I have used to call and love. My hair. Oh well.. With so little holiday left and so much bullshit right, im thinking that the upcoming events can rather go and throw themselves down the gutter, in a fashionably directional manner. Sigh. Life is sad.

Fresh Meat // How hard is hardcore?

2004-11-13T20:05:00.000+08:00

Ha. Well I havent posted in a while, and Im getting pretty lazy in blogging... Anyhow. Went to a barbeque a few days ago... There was the usual debate on how to tell if the food was cooked, mainly circulating around the thought that blisters meant that food was cooked. However, when we get blisters I dont see us roasted on a plate with an apple in our mouths.... Basically, the only way to tell if food is fresh is to eat the food, and if you dont get diarrhoea within 30 minutes, it was fresh. However, if that was the case, and you DID get diarrhoea, then you wouldnt need to know whether the food was fresh or not, because you got diarrhoea anyway. So it is sort of a lose-lose situation, but probably the most sure-fire way of identifying fresh food. Besides sniffing it and feeding it to the dog I guess.

Two episodes in one day. Whoa. Never happened before, never should happen ever again =\. When you ask a gamer about hardcore players, the normal reaction is "those gamers arh, siao leh. Play 24/7... I only play after come back from school... then very free..." Some even swear on their TFT lvl 30 ladder character that they aren't hardcore... but o well. How hard is hardcore? In my case, I doubt the hardity of my core, in the gaming world that is. On second thought, what other world is there? :D

Fastly Food

2004-10-30T21:46:00.000+08:00

Look at the food on your plate. How fast did it take for that piece of steak to become a piece? Quite fast. Aha. This is the bargaining power of many fast food giants. The ability to turn a smal fluffy chicken into a paste used to pour into a mould and serve to unsuspecting victims is one which is appreciated and used by all successful fast food joints. Advertising is also a big medium in creating a fast food joint into a place which is big on bullshit. The "healthy" meal probably means ONLY 30% fat. And 100% Chicken Meat probably just means that the chicken meat they use is 100%, but who knows what else lies in that little patty you just ate. Hum. Anyhow, since fast food joints look pretty impressive sometimes, with high tech computers and nice microphone to shout into. However, impressive looks also means impressive costs. Impressive income for them, and an impressive hole in our impressively unimpressive pocket. Supersized me is probably one of them movies which snaps us back to reality, but on the other hand, it gets dissed for being a bad movie, showing McDonalds in a bad light. I do suppose it is that unhealthy, but I dont suppose we enjoy the realisation of how unhealthy our supposedly healthy food is. Well basically, im not a health person. Actually, I think ill stick to my Mc Spicy Double, Spicy Style.

You want Scuba?

2004-10-28T21:25:00.000+08:00

Ahahah... We should all be like ze Hippopotemoose... Along came Polly... Many food... Last Samurai... Stomachache. Ah well. School isnt that bad. At least i get exercise from going to the toilet every now and then. -.- But yes. School is becoming actually vaguely, slightly, somewhat probably, perhapsly, after much considerationly interesting. Well, it beats sitting at home and playing com. Or does it... Well at least I get to own people at Quoridor. Go figure. Friday is the last day of school, and I have an improbable future but probable death on the homecoming, so yes. In the words of a man once wise... You want Scuba? I sure need some.

Water Treat-y

2004-10-27T22:31:00.000+08:00

Does no one ever realise how nice tap water tastes? I mean... alll those bottled shit are so full of decomposed plastic that it hust tastes wrong. Think about it. How many trees died to provide for you that one bottle of so called fresh water?? One is better off drinking tap water...i mean.. tap water has... floride! good for teeth, no need to use toothpaste. And then there's.... Chlorine! Good for swimming pools... And then theres.... brown specks! Good for... your filter. But yes. It IS more natural to just drink it straigth from teh tap. I mean.. what's the worst that there is in them pipes, there's no 4 eyed creatures with seven legs... Except maybe for a cockroach with specs, a prosthetic leg and an oxygen tank. However, that is highly unlikely. I hope. Anyhow, I reckon that if people dont die that horrible a death from swimming lessons in school, drinking tap water should be fine. Except that there's less chlorine. =

Jouney to the West

2004-10-27T15:53:00.000+08:00

Sweltering heat... 1 years worth of locker... Carried in a box about to break. I walked to the bus stop. I boarded the bus. With much difficulty i must add... Got off the bus at my spot and waited for the next bus. Luckily it didnt take too long to come... Fell asleep until my stop.... Got off, walked towards my house, only another 600 meters to go, with a box full of crap. Ishould have just chucked it in the canal, but it wouldnt have been ethical. Now that Im back home, I cant decide which is more broken. The box or my arm.

Chinese Ideaology

2004-10-25T18:31:00.000+08:00

Well. I was standing around in the MRT, when I saw this guy who refused to sit down, due to the fact that the chair was warm. O.o As usual, because I didnt get what the hell why, I went into banter mode and began my theory. And this is how it goes.

Cold has the potential for positive energy. Heat on the other hand, produces negative energy. The human body has neutral energy, and is energy is absorbed by many ways. One of the ways we gain energy is through heat and cold. When someone sits on your chair, the potential difference for negative energy is most of the time higher on your end, as you just came from the outside. // This explains why you feel tired if you go out into the heat more. You gain much negative energy and lose much positive energy. // Like water, energy travels from an area of high energy to low energy. So your high negative energy would be transferred to the chair, thus causing people to dislike sitting on warm chairs, as the negative energy might be transferred to them. Extreme amounts of heat of coldness on the other hand, produces and opposite effect. For example, Eskimos are full of energy, and its definately not due to the seal fat. That's what they try to make you believe, then they poach seals and sell their fat. Sick thought. Anyway, and then there are saunas. Saunas are loved world-wide for their healing and fat-reducing properties. This is due to the fact that there is so much negative energy, that it becomes positive energy. Kinda like how too much pressure turns black coal into sexy diamond. Therefore, I have now garnered enough information to say - I don't mind sitting, as long as the guy's done his shitting.

Absent Mindedness

2004-10-24T16:59:00.000+08:00

Sigh. I just took a pair of dirty socks, and intending to throw them in the wash, I walked to the toilet and chucked them in the toilet bowl. Then I got a shock, pulled out the socks and tossed them in the sink to wash. Joy. Absent mindedness is hitting me now more than ever. Probably due to lack of sleep. I mix things up too much. Either that or it's my lack of sleep. Playing dota affects your sleep. And then again... school is almost over, and minds get more and more absent. Hopefully Ill get a present mindedness in the near future.

The Minority Report of the Sneaky Taxi People

2004-10-21T22:31:00.000+08:00

Lol... The Minority report of the Taxi people are seriously sneaky. As in. They act dumb, by asking you repeatedly if you want to turn left or right when there obviously is no turning to the right, then they uhh.. miss your turning, so that you go one round, then they give you a 30 cents discount, while they pocket the other 50. And then... With the nice TVs, no one can be bothered to look where they are going, or even if they leave stuff behind. So you end up leaving your phone, wallet, bag, or even forget to get off the taxi. O.o And then there are those who claim to charge you for ERP, GST, ECP, AYE, and add an extra buck to your fare, and then grin at you. O well.. It's also dumb how they put the "Dont forget to take ur stuff" signs on the seatbelt. So you buckle up, remember to take your stuff, then start watching TV media, And then, you reach your stop. You quickly unbuckle your seatbelt while looking at your wallet at the same time. The sneaky minority taxi people did a report on this, and found out that at this time, you wll not be paying attention to the small "remember to take your stuff" signs, and then go off, leaving your stuff all neatly tucked under the chair. Damn.
Anyhow... Then there are also those other sneaky taxi drivers who put up a red hired sign, even when there is no one in their taxi. Most of the time its all a haox, and normally a wave, smile, and a raising of a coffee cup does wonders to how quickyl the driver stops for you.

Cockroaches are from Mars

2004-10-18T21:30:00.000+08:00

Im serious. All martians have big green eyes, feelers and look like they crawled out from the bin. Anyhow, cockroaches have that freaky look which scares away all but the most daring of earthlings, and fly around and attempt to gorge the eyes out of those unperturbed ones. They have also some how managed to get themselves into the earthling's food supply, using the shady term of "Mars Bars". Somehow, none of the earthlings ever get suspicious, even with such a amusing name. They blame it on advertising.... Anyhow... In them Mars Bars one normally comes across the odd crunchy object or so, and if I were not much more intelligent than normal earthlings, I would believe that those crunchy things were peanuts. But I know, yes I know, that those crunchy stuff are actually the mind control bits, possibly containing traces of martian cockroach. And then again, the term martian cockroach is not very right, as all cockroaches are martians, and therefore rendering "martian" obsolete in such a phrase. Anyway, because of these Mars Bars, the martians have somehow managed to secretly control the earthling's minds, leading to the invent of many martian-like products like latex toilet paper. Then again, some earthlings are intelligent enough to fight against such stuff, inventing things like Baygon. Baygon Kills. Do You?

Kampong Chicken! NOT OILY

2004-10-17T22:31:00.000+08:00

If you pass along upper bukit timah road, opposite beauty world, you will notice a nice little chicken rice shop. As you walk into the shop, you notice rolls of kitchen towels hanging from the walls... Innovative.. you think. Then you turn around and notice the red and bad designed poster, with big yellow text: "Kampong Chicken! *NOT OILY*" Due to the horribly bad design skills and marketing strategies involved in such a poster, you get curious and head inside, trying out their food, only to find that the food there is so good, it betrays the ad. Or maybe the ad was made like that on purpose... just like Creative ads... or maybe not... Anyway... Simplicity and noobness have their benefits.
Anyway... Kampong chicken... Free roaming chicken... = Healthy chicken? Well.. maybe healthy for us, considering the lack of fat in them olympic-styled legs of the chickens, especially since they need to run from every few stones lobbed at them by the odd kamponger. Low fat, supposedly tenderer meat. But what about the chcikens.. Free roaming they might be, but what about the fact that since its a kampong, cattle should be near by, and what does that mean? Well. How about having your breakfast of corn, worms, and the odd pile of brown i-dont-want-to-identify kind of objects.. those which steam slightly and smell like your sister's cooking? Hmm.. If you think about it that way... How healthy is the kampong chicken really? Ill leave that to you to decide... But in my opinion, chickens produce that scented substance too... possibly containing traces of cow like origin.
Ask for more vegetables, begin healthy living.

The internet is useful for all things Eevil.

2004-10-17T01:15:00.000+08:00

Haha... forget hackers.. the frozen throne freaks are more of a pest to human health and the general goodness of all manity. Well.. basically, since in warcraft you can make a few billion identities with no way of tracking you, destroying someone's game can be predddy easy. And then again, you have those hard core game spoilers, who spoil games as their whole warcraft life, leaving every time they join. Then there are those who utilise dota for their very evil means of insulting others. Then there is me. :) It's preddy fun to insult the insulters and watch them stop talking. And then own me... But its the sense of satifaction one gets when one insults an insult is probably more fun than the game itself anyway.. Considering that they get more pissed with you... and hopefully mess up their game... hopefully...

Setbacks are but stepping stones to sucess

2004-10-15T13:33:00.000+08:00

Yeah right. Setbacks are more like hurdles which you accidentally trip on, fall, injure your left knee, sprain your toe and knee yourself in the pills at the same time. However, hurdles are man-made ya? And so are our problems. Of course much problems come from other problems, but those are indirectly man-made too. Since they are man-made, man TECHNICALLY should be able to get rid of all their problems, but then again.... The stepping stones are submerged. So submerged that you gotta get wet even before you can reach the stones. So. So far, my analogy is balls. Basically, in lay man's term - "Problems are gay, sucess is what we all want, but how gay do we need to get before we can get what we want?"

Fat Peanuts are Freaky

2004-10-14T19:16:00.000+08:00

Opening a packet of peanuts which were made in Malaysia can be a very troubling task. Especially since that the last time you did so, you encountered a few peanuts which were mutated to be bigger than your thumb. They could have considered using the High Yield Varieties and not the High Fat Content Varieties... But then again, fat peanuts aren't always the worse. There are the skinny ones. The nuts themselves are as hard as teh shell, and taste saltier than the shell. In other words, them Malaysians thought we'ed be better off eating the shell anyway. Then there are the worm-hole filled ones. The worm holes look like dirt, until your crack your peanut open and find that you have a black nut. And then again, people eat peanuts without really looking at what they eat, kinda like roasted chestnuts. But next time, try looking at the location of peanut manufacturation. I think ill stick to potato chips from now on. At least nothing can go wrong with Potatoes.

If that is ludacris, then what is this? O.o

2004-10-13T17:38:00.000+08:00

There are many things wrong in the world... then there is the land of Stones. We all know the land of stones... I visit it every day. No wait. Every hour... In the land of stones, the national activity is stoning. No surprise, considering that if you lived in a land of stones, stoning would only be the right thing a stone should rightfully do. Anyhow, I have always wondered how people can consider stoning as boring. How can a state when you dont feel, think, or even look dumb be boring, when you practically dont know what's happening... Them noobs who cant stone well try to degrade those of us who can actually space out and do it well... To think they call it "dumbness", "lack of mental capacity"... or the worse - "Rahger".... XD Mugging is fun im sure... But for now I think ill stick to my pet rock.

Things never meant to be explained explained.

2004-10-09T17:06:00.000+08:00

You know... Certain things cant be explained. Think paranormal activity with a twist of lemon. The fear of the unknown is only paralelled by the fear of two week old porridge. But one tends to wonder why there areall kinds of freaky shows on the paranormal, but almost none on mouldy porridge. Something to do with the AVA and the new censorship laws perhaps.

Anyway... Imagine a table.... Good..... Now imagine a hole in the table.... Good... Ok. Now. Would you call the hole an object in itself? As in.. The Table has a hole. Or would it be more of the table has a lack of table where table should be... Hmm...

SK-II Pitera

2004-10-08T13:56:00.000+08:00

Haha... Thats possibly the suckiest ad I have ever seen. In my Life. As in. I have seen a thousand sucky ads before (Think Double OK) , but i think this takes the cake. It's a piece of genius tho, with an ad this bad, who can forget it O.o So. Maybe if I submitted Mindless Banter, they might take it as the top ad for a mental institute... O.o

Anyway... Exams were bull. Studied only for maybe History and Chinese... the rest were all bullshit. Just read thru.. O yes. maybe lit and geog.. but yeah. Bool. Shit. But its over. It's English tmr, and i think ill better go study - uhh.. no. its not an excuse to stop blogging... (shit)

Lag is like Fengshui

2004-09-24T18:21:00.000+08:00

Yes... I am back to blogging. For a day. It seems that I havent been blogging for the past... long time. Too many prior commitments I suppose... Like.. exams possibly...
Well. We cant possibly celebrate the 100th anniversary of Mindless Banter, but we sure can celebrate the 100th anniversary minus 69 of Mindless Banter. If you did the math, you would have gotten 4. Or at least I did. I heard that 4 is an unlucky number. Ill never know.
On a lighter note, I've just unlocked the secrets of Fengshui. Yes. Fengshui. That thing where is complete bull but half the world loves it. (No offence) But yes, mindless bantering in general is complete bull, and half the world loves it too. So. What is feng shui you ask me? Well. Feng shui is the organisation of elements in such a manner as to convey a message. Kind of like art. Cept that you cant get all tyco and stuff. Anyway, the idea of feng shui revolves around the pot, the glass of water and a Mc Spicy Double. The pot represents earth, which is calming, the glass of water represents water, which is cooling, and the Mc Spicy Double represents expensive. I mean, anger, or heat... or stuff. Anyway... So you gotta position these in such a way that it makes good non-sense. Basically, if I wanted less lag, I would put the pot on my head, the glass of water on the table, and the Mc Spicy Double in my mouth. The pot would keep my head steady so I dont get giddy, the glass of water on the table is to keep my modem from falling off the table, and my Mc Spicy Double is just in case I get hungry. So. Now you see that I am sufficiently calmed, cooled and have sufficient anger, I can finally switch of my h4x and have a "Counter-Terrorists Win".

A bad day in tree history

2004-09-18T22:25:00.000+08:00

Date: 18/9/2004
Location: Sunny city of Singapore
Incident: The inhumane slaughtering of thousands of trees

This day, the mistreatment of trees and al of treekind has been subject to the brutality and savagery of the beings known as Man. Our prime suspect, a person about two feet tall, has been suspected to have murdered hundreds of thousands of trees in one single day. When asked for his statement on this...

Suspect: It was never my fault... Anyway, the trees sacrificed themselves for a worthy cause. It is true that thousands of trees had to fall for me, but it was all worthwhile. They assisted me greatly in my time of need, and thus saved the world from the would be apocalypes of mucous. We should also celebrate the fact that I no longer need to go for the walkathon, thanks to viruses and bacteria which we all know we hate but we love to have. Especially when there's walkathons. And thus, I send my regards. Thank ye all treekind, and yes, when there's Kleanex tissue, there's a slime free world.

Sing-apore Idol

2004-09-16T22:31:00.000+08:00

Whee. Interesting name ya? No. Not really.
Well. Let's just say... Theres the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. There's those good ones, those bad ones, and those.. others. Yesh. It's a whole range of stuff you got here.
You get a show like this which lasts shorter than the commercials do when:
1) You have a lack of capital and many ppl who want to pay to get their camera splashed on the screen every 2 minutes.
2) You have a lack of things to show in the 1 hour you promise people
3) Gurmit has a sore throat
4) The cameras are malfuncitoning. (maybe they shld get some of them olympus ones)
5) You like to piss people off
6) You have an interesting show which people would watch anyway
7) You enjoy the wastage of time and the rotting of the Singaporeans brain cells by watching rubbishy ads like "Eh, honey, buy matress got free handphone leh!"
8) You need to give time for people to visit sexy blogs lihe this one.

Annnnddd.. Our lines our closedddd....

Lackage of Banter

2004-09-14T22:50:00.000+08:00

Well. The well of all things interesting has run dry. Possibly due to global warming, or stress, probably due to my receding hairline. Lately all that I've been talking about is Sjab. That surely must mean something. Something wrong at least. Now that I have a temporary spot in the prestigious, or infamous, First Aid Com, I can now declare my freedom to be in serious Lackage.

I have a dream.
One day Sjab will not be hell.
It might even be something people deem
to be good and possibly even sane.
To come back on the Saturdays and enjoy more pain.
Pain to the brain,
and my pulse probably stopped.
Considering that my CPR flopped.
I have a dream.

Well. My inspirations all out the window. It's not so much of stress, but more of lack of sleep. However, lack of sleep comes about when you feel like you have no inspiration and just stay awake stoning. I wonder if cheese cures insomnia...

I swear the buses are out to get me.

2004-09-10T23:43:00.000+08:00

Holy shit. The rumours have come true. The bus invasion lives on... O.o
Well. Imagine you were me. You take a nice 74 in the direction you think leads home. Thats where the bus tricks you. You dont go home. You find out that you have readched a final stop. You alight. It's a stop whcih is dimly lit, with some buddhist alter thing there, and bus drivers sitting around drinking stuff. You walk away. Towards the bus stop which you should have gone to. You find out you lost your wallet. "Damn! Shit!" You run back to the bus. The bus is empty. You see about 5 spaced out looking bus drivers walk towards you. You raise an eyebrow. You walk up to them and ask who drives the 74. They walk past you. Zombies. Your brain tells you. Bus drivers have already been infected. You could be next. Of course you shrug this off as mere fiction (which is obviously not true). You finally manage to get the 74 zombie guy to open the door. You leg it up upstairs and find out that the ad for "Ghost" is on. Joy. You end up searching for your wallet and find it. You leg it downstairs and out the bus. The bus driver looked as spaced out as ever. You walk away, hardly believing what just happened. You take a bus back. You stone and think what a lucky bugger you were.
Thank God for short term memory loss. Any longer and the infestation might be funded by my cash. Or at least killed off by my downright ugly ez-link card.

Kids do the Darndest Things

2004-09-08T23:58:00.000+08:00

Was looking at some kids today and I was struck by enlightenment. You see, kids have this special way of getting whatever they want. I mean, if you encounter an under 1 meter wonder with a cute face, a receding hairline, which seems to be rolling around the ground and seems bent on destroying your eardrums, I doubt you would not give them what they want. No offence, but yes, I think kids are nice and all, but you can almost see their uhh.. sinister smiles, as they cry only when you are around and there's this 99 buck barney toy which they want. Well, isn't life unfair? If it was me i would have never gotten the barney toy. Damn.
Life sucks. After looking and learning from kids, hey. Pass me the Shrink Ray will you?

The venerable order of the.. ahh forget it.

2004-09-06T22:13:00.000+08:00

Today was just bad. It's bad when you walk to the bus stop, and sit there thinking "The next bus's gunna be mine i bet" for around 45 minutes. I swear Trans Island is out to get me. Reached my destination in under the time it took to wait for the bus itself. Bad yes.
Played Bridge, lost much. Watched some low quality Bourne Identity which left me two times as confused as i started out.
Wanted to go to school for a koto revision... Thats Knowledge of the Order (of St Johns). In full, it would be the venerable order of the something something... Yes. Waiting for the bus alone took 25 minutes. But that was a good thing. Considering that those in the sjab room weren't doing much.We ended the day off by saying that the notes we pritned were crap. Joy. We also realised that the test was postponed to uhh.. DECEMBER. Sheesh. Anyway... I realised that our SJAB room sure is clean. You sit down with a white pants and go home looking like you swam through tar. Luckily I can swim.

Havent been posting for a long time... Malaysia's fault I say. Malaysia goes together with weight gain. I mean.. When you go to Malaysia, what do you do...? Uh.. Drive.. which we dont actually do... Eat... drink... sleep.. Read your book which is as untouched as your Maths textbook... Sleep again.. Eat... Drink... If you were looking to burn calories, Malaysia would be a bad idea. However, if you go up to your neighbourhood policeman and ask him his opinions on the water issue and if his bird has a flu, I dont think you should stay around for too long. I heard that parangs are as common as potholes in the road there. Just a piece of advice for the unaware traveller.
Confucius he didn't really say, If you have all your eggs in one basket, then you better well not have a hole in it. Eggs dont come easy ya.

Antonio and Co,

2004-09-02T21:24:00.000+08:00

Well. Shit? My beautiful Rotiboy bread (yes, its the best bread you will ever find) has been mutilated by Antonio and co. Shit.... its perhaps the worst thing to be wasted by hordes of ants with white asses. Or maybe the white things were part of my bread. Anyway... the bread was too good to throw away. So i ate it. and threw away a few cohorts of ants in the process of eating it. Doused the bag in water and found about enough ants to cover my finger and with more to spare. Joy. Anty bread. That's possibly the cause of the uhh.. saltish taste from my bread. Geahhh.... what a waste.

The Bus

2004-09-01T20:23:00.000+08:00

Im here today to tell you about something I bet no one has ever noticed. Now. It is common knowledge that Singapore has BUSES. But did you ever realise, that the number of companies doing BUSiness and the increasing amount of companies (aka SMRT, Trans-island, SBS) who want to have a share in the BUS industry? Well. Have you ever noticed the increasing number of BUS stops? They spread out their reign of terror upon us! Very soon, no part of Singapore will be safe from BUS-kind. I shall share my experiences with these bus-lings.
It was a normal day. A BUS 75 arrived. It was packed full. I hopped on, did a tap with my ez-link, and waited for the doors to close. They closed, without much difficulty. BUT, at the next stop. The doors OPENED. The doors of the BUS crushed my shoe into half its size. With my foot still in it. Well. I used my taichi skills to tahan until the door closed, but yes, even then my foot got dislocated in about 7 places.
You see? The BUS people are out to get us. The ez-link idea is only so that we can spend money without noticing it. It's like credit cards... only without the free gifts. Join with me in our fight for freedom from all BUS-kind, or we may be drawn to the BUS side. Be every vigilant, or you might never survive your next BUS ride...

FAQs

2004-08-30T20:28:00.000+08:00

Q: Why did you create a post related to this topic?
A: To answer the Frequently Asked Questions of my adoring public.

Q: Why are you 2'2"?
A: Have you ever seen me without stilts?

Q: Why do you waste your time blogging?
A: It's for the entertainment of my fans.

Q: Who ARE your fans?
A: www.2footfans.com And no, it's not a furniture shop.

Q: Can I have an autograph?
A: Yeah, but you'll need to get in line.

Q: What do you think about the political development of Singapore which will directly or indirectly affect your life in one way or another?
A: Uhh... World Peace?

Q: If you could choose between a million bucks and relatives, which would you choose?
A: The million bucks. The more money you have the more relatives you have.

Q: You're a weird person. Do you not realise that?
A: I do, and I enjoy it.

Q: Why are you so corny?
A: The price of eggs has risen lately.

Q: Why do you not like SJAB?
A: It's a UYO. Anyone who likes UYO should be recommended to me, so that I could recommend him for psychiatric help...

Q: What's the capital of Indonesia?
A: Penang. Duh.

Q: What's wrong with my TV?? It has been taken over by SPORTS!!!
A: No. That's just the Olympics.

Q: What do you do in your free time?
A: Nothing much. Otherwise it wouldn't be free time any more would it.

Q: What is your biggest fear in life?
A: Not growing any taller.

Q: Why do you not like Maths?
A: It's a love-hate relationship. I hate loving it.

Q: Does that apply for Chinese too?
A: It would, but we got Ng Teck Seng... Woot.

Q: This is wasting my time
A: That's not really a question...

Q: Are you trying to keep us stuck here by speaking absolute rubbish?
A: Well, techniacally, if you consider it from all angles, all points of views and using good thinking skills.... Yes?

Q: Will you have more of these uhh.. FAQs?
A: If I get any Questions which are Frequently Asked, I don't see why not.

Q: What closing statement will you have today?
A: Goodbye Mr Anderson.

Not-so-Flagular Day

2004-08-28T19:36:00.000+08:00

I bet at some point of your life you would have thought - Why the hell is it called Flag Day?

1) We collcet money for the whole day, so technically it should be called Flag Morning, Flag Afternoon and Flag Night, or Flag MAN.

2) The stickers are ROUND. Since when were flags ROUND. Maybe those not-so-flagular types.. but otherwise...

3) You do realise we dont give you flags, we give you stickers. So it could also be called Sticker Day.

And then again, its still called Flag Day, and it forever shall be. Or at least until someone explains this to them. Not that HQ listens anyway, or else SJAB would actually be a good UYO by now.

Well. Guess what. We went to Clementi today. Normally a peaceful place, with peaceful people, with peaceful blue-green-yellow fountain, with peaceful SJABers. But today - Chaotic and crowded place, harassed people, a blue-green-yellow fountain with more yellow water than blue, and bloodthirsty SJABers. So we had laksa. And a nice walk around Clementi to look at scenery. Or for potential targets at least. We left Clementi after around 1 hour, with me being a happy man. I had 50 Cents.
We then proceeded to more interesting places. Like. City hall. Not that many SJABbers there today, so we DID have some business, and much business with the security guards. We used my stealthly skills to get in the underpass between citylink mall and the mrt thing, so TECHNICALLY, TECHNICALLY, we were'nt in a shopping center. Pure Genius by who else but me of course. We made like, at least 25 bucks each. By then I couldnt feel my legs and my tin felt more like a brick. A very clinky brick. Henyway, well, these two photographer people things wanted a photo. So its like, I got made into their specimen. The picture turned out sorta good. Sorta. Kind of like. A blurred picture, with some small figure sitting on empty steps. They donated around 4 bucks to us, thanks to my prefessionalism. XD
Well. Lunch was due, and we headed off to the exhibition with XBoxing and gaming. Too crowded to see anything, and my height didn't help. So in other words, we went back down. We got treated to Pink Donuts (Shit, these are the best things invented since toilet paper) by some uhh... how should I put it... kind soul? We then tried to squeeze 5 people into a taxi to go Lan, but the taxi people didn't have their coffee this morning, and were all crazy like. We ended up with SubWay - Eat Fresh. So fresh that my chicken still tasted cold. Damn good microwave they have. Foot-longers are too short. They need meter-longers.
We ended up going back to school to return our tins. Well, SOMEBODY wasn't there, so being my boliao self, I crafted a "hammock" out of two ropes. Well, if you consider a hammock something which makes your ass and your arms hurt, yeah, it's a hammock. Returned the cash, and found out that some guy gave Joash 50 bucks. Wdf. So. Moral of Story. Make it Flag Afternoon and go to town for 2 hours, collect 3 times the amount it takes 5 people to get in 6 hours. Yup, simple logic. In the words of some other famous guy, "Damn."

Oral B

2004-08-25T20:26:00.000+08:00

That's probably the grade I got for my chinese oral. It's hard to get nervous outside the exam hall. Only happens when it's your turn next. But I think I was doing pretty well, her vein in her forehead only throbbed about twenty times... Not that bad.
Art was messed. Uhm... let's just say that 75% of those who got real high marks (aka 80 - 90) were uhh 10 min work. No offence though. Just come teach me the ways of artisism and enlighten me. I sure would like to know. Considering that I spend uh.. a few hours doing something which turns out to give me as many marks as a guy who has a 2d drawing of a room inside a rom and uhh... brick, paper scissor. uhh... good job.. *cough* *ja-* *cough* *ames* *cough* sigh.. Maybe I should get more uhh.. risk-taking and splash my plate of mee siam on the paper.. I wonder if i get marks for fragrence of piece...
Henyways, mugging is hardly my thing. Staring at the universally loved-hated shou che causes involunteery eye twitches and spasms in your kidney. Oh well. Better get down to studying before I get an Exam F tomorrow. In the words of some famous guy, "E = mc2". No relation, yes, but the guy WAS famous...

Judging Dread

2004-08-24T20:51:00.000+08:00

Corny, yes, but so is chinese oral 1 day before our chinese test. But i mean it's ONLY 6 ke and ONLY 50 cheng yus. Seriously no mood to study, no mood to game either. I think stoning would be a good idea. Only that when you stone you look down at the ke ben in your hands and go "eh shit" and start studying again. Looking at the current state of affairs, I would judge dread as bad.
Before I get all corny and lose all my fans, I had better run. Or log off. Or shut down. Or. Something.
Hand me teh Spam.

Of bath towels and the smell of victory - or colgate at least.

2004-08-23T18:42:00.000+08:00

Towels are as integral to our lives as toilet paper. It just so happened that I got unlucky. Towels were disigned for a purpose - to dry things. Well, not unless you get a towel which spreads water and magically adds to the amount of water there is. I shall call these towels "Made in China". Eheh.... no really. The worst part is that the towel's more expensive than toilet paper. What a rip-off.
And then you have bath soap. First of all, you get a nice green looking bath soap which says "Refreshing Mint scented" on the label. You tend to believe them. Until you use it at least. You go in smelling like sweat and bad potatoes, and you come out smelling like you had a bad bout with a tube of colgate. Might not be a bad thing though, considering that you could use that to cure yourself of mosquito bites. On the other hand, people start looking at you funny and asking if you have any toothbrushes to sell as well.

Regarding all things veggie-like

2004-08-22T22:11:00.005+08:00

Well. Was discussing about veg with twisted boi, and i have com to a few conclusions. Basically, these are the steadfast rules for all veggie-kind:

1) Veggies taste bad. Anything which tastes good can't be veggies.
2) Veggies are green
3) Beans are veggies
4) Potatoes are the only veg which doesnt taste bad basically cos they are potatoes.
5) Things which are processed can't be veggies. Thats why mashed potatoes aren't veggies.
6) Soya beans aren't veggies tho. They are crystallised sauce. Soya bean milk is crystallised sauce curdled. Tofu is soya sauce curdled twice over.
7) Hydroponics is vegetables which can breathe underwater
8) Aeroponics is vegetables which can breathe air
9) Soiloponics is vegetables which can breathe - no wait, you cant breathe soil.
10) Chinese cabbage is only called Chinese cabbage because the cabbage fell through the earth.
11) The story of the giant turnip is total bull. Turnips are never good. All things good are potatoes.
12) Tomatoes and potatoes are pronounced (toe - mae - toes) and (poe - tae - toes). Everything else you heard was just political propaganda. Obviously they failed their speak good english movement.
13) Bean sprouts, or affectionately known as Tau Gay, (pun intended) are totally non-veg. Considering that they taste good, they overpower all other laws.

First-Aid Duty? More like waterboy.

2004-08-16T19:38:00.000+08:00

Well basically, today was rather messed up. The first part of the day was good. Charity cafe sure did well with my great marketing skills XD. Anyway, popcorn sold well. So did the brownies (7 of which went to Joash -.-) and muffins. And even beehoon. P science teacehr din come today tho, so we practically wasted a chance of wasting lesson.
And then! I had Sjab. It was all good. Until about 15+ of us boarded the same gay 74. The 74 had air con which was more of a heater than anything else. The crowd of people din help to remedy that.
Well. What else to do, sleep. Sleep. Sleep until reach Mac Ritchie. Mac Ritchie that time still must fall in.. tuck in shirt... -.- Only first aid duty ma. Think the runners want to see whether your shirt neat neat not -.-
Well, we walked half the 4.8 and found out that we were at the wrong location. And walked back again. Shit. Walked back to our post, sat down and started waiting for the arrival of the runners. All run fast fast, some people.. some people... a bit the bored, count the number of people who past and broadcast it to them -.-
Well. I survived drinking the Ice Mountain (As cold as the damn air con on the bus) meant for the runners. So no wonder there wasn't enough water. >.>
Walked back fast fast, drop beret. Got one noob pick up my beret, ask me do pushups then give me. Siao man he. I talk abit of cock then he say do 1 give me back. My ass lar. I ended up just walking and talking to everyone else. At the end he gave it back to me. Heh. Free carry-my-beret service. >)
Reach back, rush to the sqaure and then guess what. No milo truck. I was like. WTF! Milo truck is the only reason why people go for 4.8 runs.
I mean, what else is there to look forward to?? Sigh. They could have at least like. Free drinks. :D We do duty for them ok...
While waiting for the prize presentations and shit, we ended up throwing ice around the place.
Then got Sjab dismissal. Take like 5 hours just to phinish. Just say "Dismissed" then zhao lor... waste time only -.-
Did some CIP litter collection. Easy lor, go around ask ppl give me their rubbish, go drain take a few cans and bottles, 10 min finish :D
Left the damn Mac Ritchie at 7 15. Reah back 7 30. Siao. only 1 day and 2 hours left to do 2 art pieces :) I think ill go use my com.

Deadly Shadows

2004-08-15T21:20:00.000+08:00

I am Garrett. Master Thief, and master of having a gay PC which automatically quits the game whenever the plot thickens. -.-
Wait.. I see a civilian with some nice glasses, a bag of loot and... a key... and... a bracelet. Heh.... *sneak* *follow* *enter alley* *club* *take loot* *happy* bwahahha... Life's good.. especially since I can pick any lock within 10 seconds flat. The fun parts going into the guard house and stabbing every guard in the back, whiel iding behind counters and watch them hurl pathetic insults at me. I suppose they failed their climbing teh counter test.
So. I stab this guard and try to run from the rest. *run run run* SHIT! And I get the auto sneak bug and start walking at the speed of snails on cheap petrol... Wait. Did that rat just outrun me? Damn. And suddenly, the guards come and knock me out cold. Sigh.
Well, I wake up in prison. This old geezer starts talking... And I throw my plates at him. Well. He goes off soon enough, and this guard comes along and shows me his ass while he's talking to me. At the same time he shows me his ass, he shows me his keys. So, like the master thief I am, I grab the keys and laugh at him as I open the door and walk off.
Basically, I get teh auto sneak bug again and get mobbed by half the prison guard. O well.
It's time to go sell my loot and buy myself a few arrows. Yeah, arrows sure are useful, especially since you can shoot people from behind a bar counter and they just act dumb.
Water arrows are just fun. Shoot em at some light and they go off. Fun. You give your neigbour a blackout then blackjack him to sleep. It's amazing how little expensive stuff people keep at home.
It's also interesting how you can stand aroudn outside for a few hundred hours and it's still night. Preedy fine weather they got there.
I take my leave. Loot calls.

What's wrong? Oh, you mean besides everything?

2004-08-12T21:56:00.000+08:00

Shit. Art's due so soon, and so's a shitload of other stuff. Shit. It's not so much of what will happen to me if I dont do my shit, but the shit feeling I get when I think about it. Shit. nevermind.. At least i get to slack off X-Country. That can well, give me more tmie to think about my shitty state. Shit. You know what's the most shitful part? You look at someone else slacking and how they dont feel shitful, and you begin to feel shitful. Shit.

Pissa Hut

2004-08-10T15:07:00.000+08:00

Well. Today was lunch at Pizza - no wait, i mean Pissa Hut. Firstly, we stood outside for about 10 minutes before getting in. We ordered 2 set meals, or should I say, main-course + soup + drink + appetiser for the cost of a set meal. The stuff came like. At 15 minutes intervals... Damn funny.. They were like. Damn blur lor... Run here run there.. then at one point there was like. a line of 10 people. Half the restaurant had empty tables. This Ang Moh guy was getting pissed with the staff and started shouting at them... rofl... They came running. After much hassle and shit, they finally managed to get those queueing seated. Took them long enough. The manager had to do like. everything. Clean tables, serve food, sit people down, collect money... Disorganised as hell... best of luck to them... the'll need it... :D

I wonder how, I wonder why...

2004-08-09T21:34:00.000+08:00

I wonder how... I wonder why... some people join Singapore Idol even though they sing so bad... Some people obviously dont know.. but some of them do know.. i think... and still... >.<
O well... Some are quite good... but... none look like... good.... O well... Spose you cant have that at the start.
Haha.... finally we will be able to vote. But of course itll drain our wallets by a good 50 cents, but I guess its worth it. Sort of....

Phear Phactor

2004-08-09T16:40:00.000+08:00

Haha... You've never eating weird food until you've eaten a pizza stuffed with M&Ms with M&Ms on top. The thing is, the M&Ms discolour and disfigure, and you get a pizza with M&M juice on it. Well... basically it tastes like M&Ms, only with mushrooms and tomato sauce... Come to think of it, it wasnt that bad. No way. Im kidding. Tasted... bad. :D Can show you a few pics of it if you want... but not for the faint-hearted ya? XD

Anyway... TV Mobile pisses me off. Just when your show starts to get good, the bus starts bouncing up and down and you get one heck of a screwed up TV set, where they stop talking and the whole thing just hangs for the next 3 minutes. Then, you start to get to another good part, and the bus jams its brakes, and you get a screwed up TV again. It should be called Patience TV, for you'll probably need patience, or at least be a deep sleeper to survive a long SBS bus jouney. Yup.

AC-Superstar

2004-08-07T14:06:00.000+08:00

Well... You know you're a dumbass when.. at your friend's house... you go "Oh Shit! I left my ticket at home!" Then you take a taxi down a traffic congested road to your house, run in, grab your ticket and take the taxi to your school. Then, You pay the taxi driver and find out that...
If I had gone to school:
Cost of Ticket -$ 10
Cost of Taxi ride without going to my house - $2
Time spent - 20 min

What I actually did:
Cost of Taxi ride going to my house to get my ticket - $ 11.40
Time spent - 1 hour ++

My Stupidity? - Priceless

Woot! I saved SIXTY! YES SIXTY CENTS! Sheeeesh...
Anyhow.. Most of them didn't sound too good. Some were actually quite good...
The winner had a sore throat :P Everyone expected him to sing his winning song again and he went off to sing We Will Rock You -.-.
Listened to the recordings in the MR room, found out that the people who didnt sound too good were actually damn pro, and the winner sounded... quite bad.... at points at least.. Well.. Considering he won with a sore throat, he must be preddy damn good.

Inter-View? I think not.

2004-08-05T19:04:00.000+08:00

Well. Inter-View? More like My-view-made-to-suit-whatever-view-you-have.
Sheesh. The IB interview was a blast im sure.. -.-
Started off nervous... waiting in line was probably the worst part... Drong asked me why i was not there just now. Like wtf? I was already 10 min early for the thing.... it wasn't even supposed to start yet...
Well. Drong sure as hell was damn happy -.- He looked like he didn't have enough coffee. Damnit. Whell... anyway... He went on and on about academic bullshit, how im gunna improve, etc... Joy.. So screwed...
Lucky me the groups for the inter-views were grouped according to psle score.. and since I didnt score too well.. im with the didnt-score-too-well group. I think that saved me to some extent O.o. Oh well....
I'm sorta more happy now... but whenever I think IB i think "oh shit"... so yeah.. off that topic...
Tomorrow is X-country... And my legs are already aching like hell, so maybe ill just jog and enjoy the scenery :D
Ac superstars coming... from what ive seen it's gunna be good... very good... can't wait for like... the actual -ahem- FIVE day hols... ahaha... So much stuff on teh agenda...
The Village... didn't look vry freaky.. so planning to go watch it... hopefully it wont turn out to be some "The Ring" in disguise and leave me with a heart attack even before I finish my popcorn... That so better not happen... Im not wasting good popcorn...

Survivor cum Amazing Race

2004-08-04T19:48:00.001+08:00

Today was one hell of a day.
It all started off in the morning... we had PE. We were made to run 2.4... as usual... I started off slow... didn't really feel like running... but picked up the pace. Round the corner, I met up with my friend... And after some discussion, well, I got shoved. Haha... Used some damn funky moves and avoided damaging myuself too badly, but I did manage to bleed from my elbow, knee AND bruise my palms, and even made the oncoming motorcycle stop (thank God).... And Wow. I was still alive. In fact, I think I ran faster than I normally did, and did quite well. *flex* Heh. I should get injured more often.
Anyway... I just remembered that I had forgotten my phone and wallet. Such fun.. You feel handicapped if ya dun got your wallet and handphone.. deprived even.
Well... After PE we had fire drill.. whee... I was walking to class when that happened, and continued to do so.. until I realised the doors were shut. Sheesh. Sigh... had to walk back outside into the hot sun.
After school, we had CCA! Even more fun! -.-' well.. guess what. After CCA, no hp, no wallet. Spent gay amounts of coins on getting to rugby competition...
At least by the time I got there, it was half time -.-. But the score was good... Our sch played well and won :D Go AC..! Anyway... that probably means good news for us. Yup. Good news... Going home was a problem tho...
Now... The only thing left is the stay outside of my house for the whole of next week... More blogging in my few hundred hours of "free time". Joy... Till Next time...

Surviving on Music

2004-08-03T21:50:00.000+08:00

Great. Now that my vien on my heads throbbing like a badly drawn piece of anime, I need to relieve it off thru some music. Ahh.. Music's like. Penadol. Especially if you get some good sounding shit. And no, rap causes the vien in your head to throb even more, and chiense opera will probably kill you by heart-attack even before your throbbing vien can burst.
The Chinese Opera today was bad. Just. Bad.
I need Coffee.

Singapore's Brainiest Kid

2004-08-03T20:44:00.000+08:00

I don't get it. At all. How can they ask questions like... What is the ink squids squirt out called? Wtf? Coffee? The guy must be damn intelligent to choose that. Not only that, the show gives the kids questions which will take a rocket scientist to figure out. I mean... Even I don't know the answer... well.. that's not saying much... but still... It's not like the kids might be unhappy.. but what about the parents? Hahaha... You'll probably find a complaint or comment abt this in streats tmr... I mean... the peeps at home can stare blankly at their TV set Meals - woops. off track - They stare blankly at their TV, and like. freak. Who the hell knows what the colour of the fijilafytiwhatchamacallit plant's fruit.
>) just my 2 copper.

Nose job

2004-08-03T19:26:00.000+08:00

Dammit. My nose still hurts from me ramming my face into my chair. Oviously it was intentional... Or not... Depending on whether you think that laughing your ass off and accidentally smashing your nose nose-first into a nice and hard plastic chair... I think I broke my nose. No wait. If I can smell stuff, does that mean it's not broken? Shit. I need to go check with my doctor... ;)
Anyhow, Art is killing me. Slowly.. It's like. taunting me...
"Haha, you can't draw..."
"Oh yes i can"
"Explain that horrible drawing of a cow then"
"That's not a cow, that's a doorknob"
"Oh... I would have enver known..."
"Shut up."
"No you shut up"
"You try to insult me with your so-called intelligence"
"You already insult me with your so-called drawing skills"
"I hate you"
"Don't we all...?"

When I grow up

2004-08-02T22:43:00.000+08:00

IB interview is coming... And they gunna ask me what job I want to do.. The best answer would probably be anything and everything... It's best to get the best out of life right? Right. Anyway... Well. It's not an easy task thinking of what you're gunna be in the future. I hate being bogged down. My goals are non-existant... on the soccer field and in my life. Humour is hard to come by at such late hours..
Now, before I go about giving a lecture on what's ethical and what's not, I'd better shut up and go have a coffee. Coffee...

Mercora

2004-08-02T22:40:00.001+08:00

Was reading up on the all powerful New Paper, and came across this... It's pre-tty interesting... sorta like p2p things, only without the illgegal stuff. Only downside is that you can only listen to the shiot people have, but ya cant download it. Not really a problem, until you find out that they onloy have around 50 active people at one time.. so yeah... check it out if you want... www.mercora.com. That's pronounced mer-co-ra ya?

Blow-up

2004-08-02T22:40:00.000+08:00

Wow. Our math teacher like. Snapped today. It happened in a blur, and the class was kinda stunned. However, like always, our class returned to normal within... 3 minutes. Sigh... we'll probably hear more about it tomorrow...

Nocturnal a.k.a In need of facial

2004-08-02T13:38:00.000+08:00

I never understood the concepts of having cucumbers on your eyes. Cucumbers affect the stomach bad enough, and now people want it on their eyes. They should make like. papaya and cucumber machines of mass destruction. They better have a cure for diarrhoea by then, or at least have more toilets.
Back on the topic of sleep, or lack of it, I propose for more coffee. I mean... websites like these thrive on lack of sleep. Where else can you get the deranged banter of someone other than a blog at 11 pm? Me? Well, that's an exception. Just insert a 10c coin and you get instant mindless-banter.
Cheers.

Counter-Depression

2004-08-01T22:19:00.000+08:00

1 depression,
2 depression,
3 depression,
4....

Heh. You know what sucks? Sticking all your not-very-high-brainpower into a project thing which doesn't work after hours of working on it. Yup. Sad isn't it?

Well. Like the title suggests, we all need a counter-depression-er. In other words, hope for a phone :D. That should cheer me up. I hope. If I ever get it that is. Keeping my fingers crossed (I'll never know why the hell people do that...) and counting my depressions..

Whew.

2004-07-05T21:55:00.000+08:00

Creating a blog alone requires brain power drainage... Just thinking of what to write in this blank space causes muscle spasms in my left eye. It's not so much a chore as a bid to promote the lifestyle of good living. Or not. My current brain usage would be about 20%, with around 15% into writing this and the other 15% in trying to understand what's happening on TV.
The joy of talking crap can only be rivalled by the joy of crap talking. In other words, Mindless-banter. Cheers